


You Have One (1) New Message

by davidstennant



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Keith (Voltron), British Allura (Voltron), Chatting & Messaging, Crack, It may also be a mixture of chat logs and actual writing idk we'll see, It's complete trash with a sorta plot my dudes, Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Korean Keith (Voltron), LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Memes and references, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Texting, because I said so, but also serious at times??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-12 06:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15333636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davidstennant/pseuds/davidstennant
Summary: Conflicting personal issues, memes, and occasional commentary on present day issues - what else is there to say? They're just useless young adults trying to live.- aka, another group chat fic that no one asked for because there'll never be enough of those for these damn nerds.





	1. it's summer, i got my hat on backwards and it's time to fucking party

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this is just me hopping on the bandwagon so I apologize in advance.
> 
> So this all started because I got bored one day. This may also become a bit of a vent fic because life, but oh well, we'll see.  
> A few notes about the characters and the setting of this fic:
> 
> • This takes place during the mid-June to early-September vacation before the paladins begin Upper six form and onwards. For those who don't follow the English way of schooling, sixth form is between the ages of 16 and 20 (up to 20 in the Caribbean, though it really depends on the school). In American conversion, they would be high school seniors.
> 
> • They all live in the States (though i don't know what specific states to have them live in) , don't live that far from each other, and all of them (sans Shiro and Allura) go to the same school.
> 
> • Lance and Hunk are childhood best friends and live with their respective relatives. Both are 17 years old.
> 
> • Pidge lives with their parents and older brother Matt, and they're in their year because if they're extremely smart - As evidenced by the fact that they can hack into the Garrison's network to give themself a new identity and not face any problems with what they're learning. They're also 14 years old.
> 
> • Keith lives with Shiro and goes to school with Lance, Hunk and Pidge. He's 17 years old.
> 
> • Shiro is Keith's adoptive brother, in his early 20's, and used to go to the same school that the paladins currently go to. In this time frame, he's a college graduate.
> 
> • Allura currently lives in Britain in this story, but used to live in America and also went to the same school that the paladins currently go to. She's a college graduate and in her early 20's.
> 
> • They all know know each other purely by network: Lance and Hunk met Pidge, Pidge already knew Keith and Shiro which led to Lance and Hunk meeting Shiro, Pidge and Keith also knew Allura which led to everyone else knowing her.

**lanceylance** has created **_Paladins of Voltron™_**

**_Jul 12 th,2018. 3:11am._ **

****

**lanceylance** has added **hunkaburninglove** , **pidgeot** , **Mullet™** , **alluring** and **Space daddy** to the chat

 

**lanceylance:** what is up my cranky crew?

**pidgeot:** for fucks sake

**pidgeot:** what the fuck lance

**pidgeot:** what is this?

**lanceylance:** a?? groupchat?? 

**pidgeot:** at 3 AM??

**lanceylance:** i literally just remembered i needed to make the groupchat for us

**lanceylance:** also why are _you_ awake at 3 AM

**pidgeot:** … _touché_

**hunkaburninglove:** it’s about time lance 

**lanceylance:** i was bUSY

**pidgeot:** busy watching Brooklyn nine-nine i bet

**lanceylance:** shut ur fuck

 

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 13 th, 2018. 9:11am._ **

****

**Space daddy** : …Why am I Space Daddy?

**lanceylance:** because you are

**alluring:** ooh splendid, lance finally created it

**alluring:** also I agree, you are space dad

**alluring:** you studied astrophysics and you’re a dad 

**lanceylance:** you are my daaaaad, you’re my dad, bougie woogie woogie 

**pidgeot:** you’re the chosen adult figure to guide us through the journey of life

**Space daddy** : …Why

**hunkaburninglove:** you’re older, wiser, won’t abandon us when we need you…

**hunkaburninglove:** also when tasked with committing possible murder you’ll keep us in line

**Space daddy:** …that’s fair

**Space daddy:** Although

 

_Space daddy changed his name to Shirogane_

 

**Shirogane:** That name’s not staying 

**lanceylance:** but dadddd

**pidgeot:** well if shiro’s doing it

 

_pidgeot changed her name to pidgey_

 

**pidgey:** this is better 

**lanceylance:** you ungrateful

**Mullet™:** why 

**lanceylance:** i literally told all of you a week ago that i was making a groupchat since we somehow never made one for us

**lanceylance:** also i didn’t know i needed a reason to talk to my friends?

**lanceylance:** the disrespect

**Mullet™:** that’s nice but i was referring to my name

**lanceylance:** oh

**lanceylance:** because you have a mullet

**Mullet™:** yeah no

 

_Mullet™ changed his name to kogane_

 

**lanceylance:** r00d af keithyboy

**kogane:** stop calling me that you noodle

**lanceylance:** KEITHYBOIIIIIII

**alluring:** children it’s too early for flirting 

**kogane:** what

**lanceylance:** i'm not?? flirting??

**pidgey:** sure jan

**alluring:** though why paladins of Voltron lance

**kogane:** if it’s after that 80’s show I swear to god lance

**lanceylance:** what, you’ll what mullet

**lanceylance:** you’ll fight me

**lanceylance:** R00D ASS HOE I’LL HAVE YOU ON THE FLOOR BEFORE YOU CAN TOUCH ME

**kogane:** i fucking daRE you

**hunkaburninglove:** keith literally has a bunch of knives lance

**lanceylance:** hUNK

**hunkaburninglove:** sorry buddy

**pidgey:** emo boy would kick your ass straight into the hands of the galra

**lanceylance:** THE DISRESPECT

 

 

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 13 th, 2018. 2:11pm._ **

 

**lanceylance:** so remember when i said i wouldn’t be here from July 27th since i’m gonna spend it with my relatives in Cuba  

**hunkaburninglove:** still sucks that you’re leaving the day before your birthday

**lanceylance:** yeah but i guess mama wants me to spend it with family

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** I found out Josephine coming along with us

**pidgey:** ew

**kogane:** Josephine?

**hunkaburninglove:** lance’s uncle’s girlfriend who’s homophobic and racist

**hunkaburninglove:** she also voted for Trump

**alluring:** ew

**hunkaburninglove:** and your mother’s allowing this why??

**lanceylance:** oh she’s livid

**lanceylance:** and so are my siblings

**lanceylance:** but uncle Daniel _refuses_ to not bring her

**Shirogane:** Has she ever attacked you?

**lanceylance:** nah, not directly. she doesn’t know about me but she’s dropped some comments here and there

**lanceylance:** all mama has to do is glare at her and she’ll shut up

**lanceylance:** but hatred will still pass through them thin-ass lips

**pidgey:** ALSKJDHG

 

**kogane, lanceylance**

**2:15pm.**

**kogane:** are you okay?

**lanceylance:**  yeah???

**kogane:** you’re gonna be spending three weeks around her

**kogane:** hence my question

**lanceylance:** i'm not gonna lie

**lanceylance:** i'm a little anxious to be near her

**lanceylance:** but i can deal with it 

**kogane:** hmm okay

**kogane:** but you’ll tell your family or one of us if she tries anything right 

**lanceylance:** aw keithyboy do I detect a hint of concern for me 

**kogane:** and goodbye

**lanceylance:** YOU CAN’T RUN FROM THE TRUTH

 

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 13 th, 2018. 2:13pm._ **

****

**alluring:** why am i imagining a woman with a “Can I speak to the manager” haircut? 

**hunkaburninglove:** because she is 

**alluring:** ewwww 

**Shirogane:** Make sure to tell your relatives if she does anything

**Shirogane:** Or one of us

**Shirogane:** We’ll always back you up Lance 

**alluring:** we’ll kick her ass into the sun

**alluring:** or straight to good home Alabama where she belongs 

**pidgey:** ASDGJGHK 

**lanceylance:** don’t worry daddy -o

**Shirogane:** please don’t 

**lanceylance:** i'll report back to the squad

 

**lanceylance** renamed **_Paladins of Voltron™_** to **_Ghouligans_**  

  **5:59pm.**

 

**pidgey:** if you and hunk are watching buzzfeed unsolved without me I swear to god I’ll square up

**lanceylance:**...what if we pause it and you come over

**pidgey:** BET

**pidgey:** KEIIIIITHHH 

**kogane:** pidge

**pidgey:** new bf unsolved episode let’s go watch 

**kogane:** you know, i planned to watch it in the comfort of my own room and not get up for a few hours

**pidgey:** kogane i will make Matt drive me to your house and drag you if i have to

**kogane:** you know you can’t lift me

**pidgey:** keithhhhh 

**kogane:** sigh

**kogane:** i’ll be there in ten 

**pidgey:** yeeAHHH

**lanceylance:** guess I’m ordering more pizza

 

**_11:13 am._ **

 

_(1) photo from_ _pidgey_

 

**pidgey:** so the one episode turned into a marathon and now lance and keith are fucking wasted on the couch

**Shirogane:** aw

**pidgey:** and everyone else is gonna follow suit so night

**alluring:** goodnight you eggs

**hunkaburninglove:** gn!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might be uploaded a few hours from now since I've already written written it.
> 
> Thanks for putting up with my mess and I hope you enjoyed it.  
> See you all in the next one.


	2. the lord has that big dick energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buzzfeed Unsolved discourse brought on from the night before, and an explanation into what exactly Big Dick Energy is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also @Voltron, there's been scenes of Lance explaining things to Keith when he doesn't understand and I love it, but where's the scene where he helps him with the Voltron chant? Did they ever work on it??? Are you gonna show it in season 7???
> 
> Also a side note - everything that they talk about in the group chat has a link, so you can click it to understand more on what exactly they're talking about if you don't already know by context.

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 14 th, 2018. 10:49 am._ **

 

 **lanceylance:** first of all

 **lanceylance:** choke u gremlin

 **pidgey:** huehuehuehue

 **lanceylance:** second of all

 **hunkaburninglove:** lance no please

 **lanceylance:** IT’S A GREAT TIME FOR SOME DISCOURSE

 **pidgey:** YEAH BOIIIIII

 **hunkaburninglove:** wHY LANCE

 **alluring:** (sips tea) ah yes, what a lovely day for discourse

 **alluring:** I must ask though, what prompted this in the first place

  **lanceylance:** so we’re watching the new buzzfeed unsolved ep on their nEW CHANNEL

 **pidgey:** MY BOIS HAVE THEIR OWN CHANNEL

 **lanceylance:** and we all watched the ep on jimmy Hoffa and just marathoned some more

 **pidgey:** and you two fell asleep next to each other on the couch yes yes

 **lanceylance:** sHUT UR FUCK

 **lanceylance:** anyway, we start to talk about whether we’re a boogara or a shaniac

 **lanceylance:** come to find out that mullet over there is a fUCKING SHANIAC

 **kogane:** oh my god this again

 **lanceylance:** I DON’T LISTEN TO MOLDY BREAD LOVERS

 **Shirogane:** What did I just wake up to?

 **alluring:** discourse my dear Shiro

 **Shirogane:** Oh god

 **kogane:** look, I believe in aliens. Ghosts however…

 **lanceylance:** MEET ME IN THE FUCKING PIT MULLET

 **kogane:** THERE’S NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT GHOSTS EXIST LANCE

 **lanceylance:** THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE SPIRIT BOX

 **kogane:** THAT’S NOT BASED IN SCIENCE

 **alluring:** fight fight

 **pidgey:** FIGHT FIGHT

 **lanceylance:** I CANNOT BELIEVE

 **lanceylance:** THERE’S SO MUCH EVIDENCE THAT RYAN’S GOTTEN

 **kogane:** ah yes, the notable “spaghetti” and “apple tater”

 **lanceylance:** OH MY G H OD

 **lanceylance:** AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES THIS EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS

 **lanceylance:** HE BELIEVES IN BIGFOOT AND MOTHMAN

 **kogane:** FIRST OF ALL

 **kogane:** I don’t believe in Mothman. I _want_ to cause Mothman actually sounds awesome, but I’m well aware that it’s most likely a tourist trap

 **kogane:** second of all, bigfoot is fucking real and you can choke

 **lanceylance:** WHAT KIND OF LOGIC

 **lanceylance:** BIGFOOT WAS CREATED BY SOMEONE WHO WANTED TO FOOL PEOPLE LIKE YOU

 **kogane:** BIGFOOT IS MEAT AND BONE UNLIKE YOUR DUMBASS SPIRITS

 **lanceylance:** SQUARE UP HOE

 **kogane:** FIGHT ME BITCH

 **hunkaburninglove:** all this fighting is TEARING THIS FAMILY APART

 **lanceylance:** you know what

 **lanceylance:** if ur gonna be like this

 **kogane:** lance I swear to god

 **lanceylance:** HASTA LA VISTA YOU MOLDY BREAD LOVING MIERDA

 **kogane:** L A N C E

 

_lanceylance has removed kogane from this conversation_

 

 **alluring:** H AHA HAHA HAHAH

 **pidgey:** THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED

 **hunkaburninglove:** REKT

 **Shirogane:** Lance

 **alluring:** uh oh the dad voice

 **Shirogane:** Add him back

 **pidgey:** nah let him suffer for a bit

 **pidgey:** fucking shaniac

 **lanceylance:** but d A D

 **Shirogane:** Now.

 **lanceylance:** u GH FINE

 

_lanceylance has added kogane to this conversation_

 

 **kogane:** couldn’t handle the truth so you removed me

 **lanceylance:** ur on thin fucking ice kogane

 **pidgey:** can’t lance just

 **Shirogane:** No

 **lanceylance:** bUT

 **Shirogane:** NO

 **pidgey:** I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY

 **hunkaburninglove:** how the hell do the two of you go cryptid hunting

 **kogane:** I like the idea of cryptids existing

 **alluring:** because while Pidge is the type of person who strives for finding information and getting answers, Keith is really just the type of ride or die friend about her excitement. He’ll help even if he doesn’t believe

 **Shirogane:** Also Keith is one of those people who analyses things _logically_ and _strategically_

**alluring:** yes

 **alluring:** also Keith just…

 **alluring:** goes with his instincts

 **alluring:** if something feels wrong, he’ll comment and try to get around it but he also won’t immediately think ghosts.

 **alluring:** Something has to actually happen in front of his face for him to believe in demons

 **pidgey:** real talk i called keith at 2am and he drowsily told me that he’d pick me up in ten

 **alluring:** also Shiro, are you implying that Lance and the others don’t think about those cases _logically_

 **hunkaburninglove:** alLURA WHY

 **alluring:** (shrugs) I like discourse

 **lanceylance:** ….something in ur words makes me think you’re a shaniac shiro

 **hunkaburninglove:** oh jfc i honestly thought we had moved pAST THIS

 **pidgey:** FIGHT FIGHT

 **lanceylance:** BOOGARA OR SHANIAC GO

 **hunkaburninglove:** UGH

 **hunkaburninglove:** boogara

 **pidgey:** BOOGARA BITCH

 **Shirogane:** ….Shaniac

 **pidgey:** FATHER HOW COULD YOU

 **lanceylance:** BOTH OF THE BROGANES YOU FUCKING TRAOITOR

 **alluring:** traoitor

 **hunkaburninglove:** traoitor

 **pidgey:** traoitor

 **kogane:** jfc get a dictionary you noodle

 **lanceylance:** sorry i don’t take the advice of people who think demons pushing someone down the stairs is the fucking wind

 **kogane:** sigh

 **lanceylance:** ALLURA

 **alluring:** so assuming boogaras believe in ghosts, demons, aliens, etc and shaniacs don’t

**alluring: ….**

**alluring:** i want to say shaniac just to ruffle Lance

 **lanceylance:** MOTHER

 **alluring:** excuse you i am a vodka aunt, Hunk’s the mom friend

 **hunkaburninglove:** you’re right but i don’t always take command like you do

 **hunkaburninglove:** plus i'm not on shiro’s level, you are

 **alluring:** you right

 **alluring:** I’m in between really.

 **pidgey:** you're a shitfish

 **alluring:**..... _what_ did you just call me

 **hunkaburninglove:** ashdgfsgfs

 **lanceylance:** i can accept that

 **lanceylance:** there’s at least a big chunk of belief in u

 **lanceylance:** the rEST OF YOU HEATHENS

 **kogane:** rude

 **lanceylance:** YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE

 **kogane:** we’re…in a group chat

 **lanceylance:** WITH THIS BULLSHIT

 **kogane:** jfc  shUT UR FUCK

 **lanceylance:** MAKE ME

 

 **pidgey** has added **alluring** , **hunkaburninglove** and **Shirogane** to a new chat

 **pidgey** renamed **_new conversation_** to **_the sweet tea of klance_**

 **_Jul 14 th, 2018. _ ** **_11:10am._ **

 

 **pidgey:** i'm sorry but i'm tired of the _blatant sexual tension_ can’t we just make them get together

 **pidgey:** yesterday was full of it

 **alluring:** aw really

 

 _(5) photos from_   _pidgey_

 

 **pidgey:** sO MUCH

 **hunkaburninglove:** lance thought he was slick constantly looking over at him

 **alluring:** aww the one with Keith laughing

 **Shirogane:** Pidge like I’ve said millions of times before, we can’t meddle

 **pidgey:** but dAD

 **hunkaburninglove:** he’s right pidge as much as we want to Lance _is_ going away in two weeks

 **alluring:** yeah it won’t go anywhere

 **pidgey:** who says that nothing’s gonna happen while lance is away

 **hunkaburninglove:** …

 **alluring:** …..

 **alluring:** shit you right

 **Shirogane:** Sigh

 **Shirogane:** Okay we’ll help but we _won’t meddle_

 **pidgey:** N ICE

 

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 14 th, 2018. 1:20 pm._ **

 

 **alluring:** oh yeah I forgot to send these

 

 _(10) photos from_ _alluring_

 

 **alluring:** ya girl went to London to protest your president

 **kogane:** oh my god

 **lanceylance:** we lOVE A PROTESTING QUEEN

 **pidgey:** your sign OMFG

 **hunkaburninglove:** “I’d call him a cunt but he lacks depth and warmth” is she wrong tho

 **Shirogane:** Coran oh my god

 **lanceylance:** Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man

 **pidgey:** “Shove your policies here” ASKLSJDG

 **kogane:** please tell me where you found that picture

 

 _(1) photo from_ _alluring_

 

 **alluring:** have fun

 **kogane:** i'm using this at the next protest i go to

 **lanceylance:** wait why didn’t i add corn here

 **kogane:** corn

 **pidgey:** CORN

 **hunkaburninglove:** corn

 **alluring:** corn

 **Shirogane:** corn

 **lanceylance:** YOU KNOW WHAT

 **alluring:** he dropped his phone in our pool so you gotta wait until he gets a new one

 **alluring:** I’ll tell you when don’t worry

 **lanceylance:** BET

 

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 14 th, 2018. 5:30 pm._ **

 

[_(1) link from_ _lanceylance_](https://www.indy100.com/article/slutwalk-video-jesse-samirah-peterson-conservative-8447441)

 

 **lanceylance:** the EPITOME of BIG DICK ENERGY

 **alluring:**!!!

 **alluring:** my type of woman

 **lanceylance:** sis really just commanded the stage

 **pidgey:** this video changed my life

 **hunkaburninglove:** “how old are you?” “GROWN”

 **pidgey:** ASJDLSKSKH

 **pidgey:** “would god want you to be a slut?”

 **pidgey:** “he would want me to be whatever i want to be because God believes in choice. you should know that Jessie. that’s why you’re allowed to wear this lame ass shirt”

 **kogane:** ….big…dick energy?

 **lanceylance:** Big Dick energy is basically having self-confidence without any sort of cockiness.

 **lanceylance:** like – when you write a check for 10 thousand already knowing you got it in the bank

 **alluring:** yeah. You can’t fake it and it’s more than the vibe of a person. It also isn’t a masculine thing, there are men with big dicks but don’t ooze BDE.

 **alluring:** There are men with average to little dicks with SO MUCH BDE that you’re surprised that their dicks aren’t dragging on the floor.

 **kogane:** hell of a visual

 **lanceylance:** people like Idris Elba, Chris Evans, Anthony Bourdain, and Robert Downey Jr. have big dick energy

 **pidgey:** god Anthony Bourdain had sO MUCH big dick energy

 **alluring:** Rihanna is brimming with big dick energy

 **lanceylance:** Cate Blanchett and Serena Williams got that big dick energy

 **kogane** : ohhhh

 **kogane** : so if i said The Rock had big dick energy

 **lanceylance:** You’d be right The Rock got that Big Dick Energy

 **kogane:** i have been enlightened

 **Shirogane:** Okay but why the fuck did he think he had the right to speak to her like that and treat her horribly

 **lanceylance:** ooooooh space dad said a bad word

 **pidgey:** ooooooohhhhhh

 **hunkaburninglove:** oooooooohhhhhh

 **alluring:** OOOOOOOOHHHH

 **Shirogane:** Really guys?

 **lanceylance:** but honestly because people still think they can slut shame women and tell them what the fuck to wear, _especially_ men

 **hunkaburninglove:** hER FACE when he asked “are you a slut?”

 **hunkaburninglove:** “i'm a virgin.”

 **kogane:** just let people fucki n g  be jfc

 **kogane:** let people do whatever the fuck they want

 **alluring:** THE DAY some crusty-ass hoe tells me that i must dress like a lady, i'm gonna fight them there and then

 **kogane:** as you should

 **pidgey:** slut-shaming?? in 2018??

 **Shirogane:** Disgusting

 **hunkaburninglove:** i would like to think Allura has Big Dick Energy

 **lanceylance:** YOU RIGHT

 **pidgey:** ABSOLUTELY

 **alluring:** damn straight

 **kogane:** yeah i'd say so

 **Shirogane:** I agree

 **alluring:** Shiro you know what big dick energy is?

 **Shirogane:** Yeah, Matt explained it to me like a week ago

 **pidgey:** of course he did

 **lanceylance:** *extremely cool youth pastor voice* you know who had real big dick energy? the lord

 **pidgey:** werdyrsghg LANCE

 **hunkaburninglove:** lance wHY

 **Shirogane:** I…have no idea what to even say to that

 **alluring:** lance you H E A T H E N

 **kogane:** LANCDAGFHFH      

 **lanceylance:** BIG BIRD GOT THAT BIG DICK ENERGY

 

_alluring has removed lanceylance from this conversation_

 

 **pidgey:** THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED

 **Shirogane:** Allura

 **alluring:** but kashi

 **pidgey:** i'm sorry, is that an aFFECTIONATE NICKNAME

 **hunkaburninglove:** oooohhhh

 **Shirogane:** Not now

 **Shirogane:** _Allura_

 **alluring:** sigh

 

_alluring has added lanceylance to this conversation_

 

 **Shirogane:** We’re banning removing people from this chat from now on

 **lanceylance:** anD YOU CALL ME A HEATHEN

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, no offence and I don’t want to rain on anybody’s fandom head-cannons but there is no evidence for Keith being a resident conspiracy theorist. 
> 
> Selena @catnippackets on Tumblr said it themselves with their Buzzfeed Unsolved AU - it's a headcannon that everyone ran with solely based on the information board that Keith had about the caves, waves and other information pertaining to the Blue Lion. It's a valid and normal way to organize information. He went to the call of the Blue Lion because of his instincts/he was weirdly compelled to. There's absolutely nothing else.
> 
> Lance however, was actually, fully, 100% convinced the Castle of Lions was haunted. I understand other reasons why Keith's pegged as Ryan - a few of the things Shane says seem kind of what Lance would say. I disagree but I understand. If you're going based on cannon and their cannon personalities, Keith would be Shane and Lance would be Ryan. Keith would not hesitate to yell at a demon to push him off a bridge just to prove that it actually existed. 
> 
> aafgd sorry if that sounded mean. Headcannons are fun to have, and I don't mind the conspiracy Keith headcannon - I laugh every time. But don't confuse headcannons for cannon.  
> Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you in the next one.


	3. god bless america

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finds some abandoned cats and the kids, Shiro and Allura marvel at the mess that is America and its president.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: (watching the countless racial attacks against black people and other minorities all the way from the Caribbean)  
> Me: (watching children being separated from their parents and forced to stand up for themselves in court)  
> Me: (watching Trump existing, none of the racist conservatives caring about the minorities in America and the di s a s t er that was the Putin-Trump Press Conference and Meeting)  
> Me @those in America: Are you guys okay?

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 15 th, 2018. 11:17 am._ **

 

 **lanceylance:**  I JUST FOUND A BUNCH OF CATS

 **pidgey:** WHAT

 **hunkaburninglove:**  PLEASE TELL ME THAT I HEARD CORRECTLY

 **hunkaburninglove:** YOU HAVE KITTIES???

 

 _(5) photos from_ _lanceylance_

 

 **lanceylance:** THEY’RE SO CUTE OH M  YH  GOD

 **pidgey:** WHERE DID YOU FIND THEM

 **lanceylance:** They were in a box in the alleyway next to the 711 where I live

 **hunkaburninglove:** WHO WOULD JUST ABANDON THEM AND NOT BRING THEM TO A SHELTER WTF

 **lanceylance:** RIGHT

 **lanceylance:** mama said i can keep one but i gotta find homes for the other or carry them to a shelter

 **lanceylance:** so

 **hunkaburninglove:** say no more i'm gonna ask my moms and the tabby is mINE

 **pidgey:** BET I’M GONNA ASK DAD

 **lanceylance:** don’t u already have a dog?

 **pidgey:** and

 **lanceylance:** **….**

 **lanceylance** **:** understandable have a nice day

 

**_12:20 pm._ **

 

 **alluring:** I cannot be l i e ve

 **alluring:** wHY AM I NOT IN THE STATES TO GET A CAT

 **lanceylance:** because u wanted to study in Britain?

 **alluring:** THEY’RE ADORABLE

 **pidgey:** DAD SAID I COULD HAVE IT

 **pidgey:** yeAAAAHHHHH

 **pidgey:** I CALL THE ONE WITH GREEN EYES

 **pidgey:** ROVER'S GONNA HAVE A BROTHER

 **lanceylance:** when do u wanna swing by

 **pidgey:** i'm leaving the house rn matt's dropping me gonna go byeee

 **Shirogane** : Hey Lance, can I have the black one?

 **kogane:** shiro

 **kogane:** what the fuck are you doing

 **lanceylance:** sure man when can u pick them up

 **Shirogane:** Probably tomorrow? I want to buy everything for them first and also clean the house, but if not tomorrow then Tuesday or Wednesday

 **kogane:** SHIRO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

 **Shirogane:** …..Getting a cat?

 **kogane:** don’t you think you’re being a little hasty

 **Shirogane:** Lance, can I also get the orange one

 **kogane:** THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT

 **lanceylance:** u are the last person i would've considered to hate cats considering u practically are one

 **kogane:** what the fuck did you just say to me 

 **alluring:** ASGDGFHSK

 **lanceylance:** YOU ARE 

 **kogane:** I WILL COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND SHANK YOU MCCLAIN

 **Shirogane:** NO ONE IS SHANKING ANYONE 

 **alluring:** why do you hate cats Keith?

 **kogane:** I don't hate cats

 **kogane:** Dogs are just better

 **lanceylance:** but cats are fluffy and s o f t 

 **kogane:** cats are fucking demons

 **Shirogane:** So you _don't_ want the cat?

 **lanceylance:** cmon keith

 

_(1) photo from lanceylance_

 

 **lanceylance:** look at those eyes

 **lanceylance:** both hers and mine

 **lanceylance:** keeeeeeiiiithhhh

 **lanceylance:** i know you're reading these 

 **Shirogane:** Keith?

 **kogane:** ughhhh

 **kogane:** god FINE

 **Shirogane:** Okay then Lance, we'll take both the black and orange one

 **lanceylance:** N I C EEEEEE

 **hunkaburninglove** : MY MOMS SIAD YESSSSS

 **lanceylance:** siad

 **kogane:** siad

 **alluring:** said

 **Shirogane:** siad

 **hunkaburninglove:** should've expected that

 **hunkaburninglove:** I'M ALREADYCOMING OVER TOMORROW SO I'M COVERED 

 **lanceylance:** BET BETBET ALL MY KITTIES ARE ACCOUNTED FOR

 **alluring:** as i stay here, all alone

 **alluring:** KITTENLESS

 **lanceylance:** sorry 'lura

 **alluring:** it's fine, Lance. I'll eventually achieve my dream of becoming a cat mom

 

**Shirogane, kogane**

**_Jul 15 th, 2018. _12:39 pm.**

 

 **Shirogane:** You accepted that pretty quickly....

 **Shirogane:** I wonder why?

 **kogane:** hey shiro

 **Shirogane:** Yes?

 **kogane:** choke

 

**_the sweet tea of klance_ **

**_Jul 15 th, 2018. _ ** **_12:41 pm._ **

 

_(1) photo from Shirogane_

 

 **_Shirogane:_ ** Here you go

 ** _alluring:_** ahahahaha

 **hunkaburninglove:** awwwww

 

  ** _Paladins of Voltron™_  **

**_2:20 pm._ **

 

_(7) photos from pidgey_

 

 **pidgey:** LOOK AT MY NEW CHILD

 **alluring:** aW they look so happy 

 **alluring:** what are they doing right now?

 **pidgey:** just sniffing around the house and trying to get accustomed 

 **pidgey:** i've only known them for about an hour but if any harm came to them i'd kill everyone in this house and then i'd kill myself

 **pidgey:** especially matt

 **alluring:** aasjadh

 

**_the sweet tea of klance_ **

**_Jul 15 th, 2018. 2_ ** **_:51 pm._ **

 

 **pidgey:** amazing

 **pidgey** : i'm gonna tease THE FUCK out of him about this the next time i see him

 

 ** _Paladins of Voltron™_  **

**_Jul 15 th, 2018.11:20 pm._ **

 

_(2) photos from pidgey_

 

 **pidgey** _ **:**_ ending the night off pleasantly 

 **lanceylance:** i see ur one kitty and i raise u

 

_(4) photos from lanceylance_

 

 **lanceylance:** FOUR KITTIES

 **hunkaburninglove:** i wanna join but i gotta wait goddamn it

 **lanceylance:** don't worry buddy your time shall come

 

 ** _Paladins of Voltron™_  **

**_Jul 16 th, 2018. 3:20 pm._ **

 

_(6) photos from hunkaburninglove_

 

 **hunkaburninglove:** AT LAST

 **pidgey:** ONE OF US ONE OF US

 **alluring:** trying really hard not to be salty right now

 

 **lanceylance** renamed **_Paladins of Voltron™_**  to **_let’s overthrow the government_**

**_Jul 16 th, 2018. 7:49 pm._ **

 

 **kogane** : oh no

 **pidgey** : a concept I can get behind

 **Shirogane** : While I’m in full agreement because…. _yeah_ …what prompted this?

 **alluring** : yes, I am very concerned

 **hunkaburninglove** : oh I know exactly what he’s gonna talk about

 **hunkaburninglove:** brace yourselves

 **lanceylance:** so

 **lanceylance:** we all know about Russia’s involvement in the 2016 election

 **lanceylance:** and we all know that crusty tangerine was supposed have a meeting with Putin to tell him today “hey, that meddling to help me win was wrong and if you do it again, there will be big fucking penalties.” even if he didn’t agree with it

 **alluring** : ah yes, I was supposed tune into the news to check in on that. I missed it due a call from Coran

 **lanceylance:** BUT THEN

 **pidgey** : oh no

 **Shirogane** : why do I feel like I’m going to be disgusted with whatever I hear

 **kogane:** that usually happens with any news about trump

 **hunkaburninglove:** oh, just you wait

 **lanceylance:** he fucking blamed the US policy for not having a good relationship with Russia, failed to call out Putin for his crimes, blamed the fucking FBI and just accepted Putin’s words that Russia wasn’t responsible for interfering in the U.S. election

 **lanceylance:** even though the U.S. intelligence community has provided _overwhelming_ evidence that they did.

 **pidgey:** what the fuck what the fuck what the fu

 **hunkaburninglove:** “President Putin just said it’s not Russia, so I don’t see any reason why it would be.”

 **Shirogane** : I’m sorry, wHAT

 **kogane:** you’re…you’re kidding

 **kogane:** you’ve got to be fucking kidding

 **lanceylance:** oh i wish I was keithyboy

 **alluring** : that’s…treason. That’s actually treason against the United States

 **alluring** : and he did this on _live television_??

 **lanceylance:** yep

 **lanceylance:** treason right in front of our salads

 **lanceylance:** even the kittens didn't want to look at the television they're horrified

 **hunkaburninglove:** lance and i were watching CNN when they showed the press conference and we were liVID

 **hunkaburninglove:** white house officials are actually admitting that they don’t even know how to respond to questions about President Trump’s press conference.

 **lanceylance:** a reporter: will any of you from the administration resign over the president’s remarks?

 **lanceylance:** a senior White House official: good question

 **kogane:** …I don’t even know what to say

 **kogane:** what the actual fuck

 **alluring** : so I went online and found out that a woman named Maria Butina, a long time NRA member and Russian national was arrested for allegedly working on behalf of Russia to influence American politicians through coordination with the NRA.

 **alluring** : going to do more research

 **pidgey:** she’s a fuCKING SPY

 **lanceylance:** yep was also about to say that

 **pidgey:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **hunkaburninglove:** also

 **kogane:**  tHERE'S MORE

 **Shirogane** : What the hell else could make this worse?

 **hunkaburninglove:** all the republicans are shocked and disgusted

 **kogane:** NOW they’re disgusted???

 **lanceylance:** yep, even though they were _just fine_ with him referring to Africa and Haiti as “shitholes countries,” emulated a reporter with a disability, bragged about grabbing women’s genitals and was accused of sexual assault 19 times.

 **lanceylance:** not to mention were completely fine with America ripping children away from their parents and sending children as young as _fucking 1 year old_ to defend themselves in actual court

 **lanceylance:** but nope, THIS was the last straw

 **pidgey:** so i just want you to picture me in my room laughing hysterically with tears on my face

 **pidgey:** where the fUCK WAS THIS OUTRAGE IN 2016???

 **kogane:** i actually…

 **kogane:** nope i can’t

 **kogane:** i'm coming off my phone for a bit give me a sec

_kogane is now offline_

**Shirogane** : If anyone still supports this man after all this, I’m going to punch them in the face with my right arm

 **Shirogane** : Keith’s on the couch muttering with his face in his hands right now

 **Shirogane** : I’m this close to joining him

 **hunkaburninglove:** a mood

 **alluring** : so

 **alluring** : your president just sold his country to Russia, performing treason on live television

 **alluring** : your president is a complete disgraceful maggot

 **lanceylance:** watch the administration scramble to cover his ass, watch these angry conservatives stay fake mad for 3 days and not raise their voices to actually fuckinh impeach him, watch everyone report on this and not once actually question why this is happening, just fucking watch

 

**_let’s overthrow the government_ **

**_Jul 17 th, 2018. 3:30pm._ **

 

 **alluring** : tell me why your president is backtracking on his words that he said at the live press conference

 **kogane:** jesus fucking christ

 **hunkaburninglove:** what what wHAT

 **Shirogane** : The headache I had yesterday is coming back

 **alluring** : he said that he _meant_ to say that he saw no reason why it would not be Russia that interfered in elections

 **alluring** : he also said and I quote: "I accept our intelligence community's conclusion that Russia's meddling in the 2016 election took place. Could be other people also. A lot of people out there."

 **alluring** : “I said “would” instead of “wouldn’t””

 **lanceylance:** this punk ass bitch –

 **kogane:** so the past times that he always disregarded Russia's role in interfering with the election were just what???

 **kogane:** he wasn’t a few fucking words off he sees that he’s in trouble and just wants to cover his sorry ass

 **kogane:** god, i'm so angry rn

 **pidgey:** this man is a mess, this country is a mess, America’s a fucking shiTSHOW

 **lanceylance:** oh my god

 

 _(1) photo from_ _lanceylance_

 

 **lanceylance:** this man actually wrote on his printed remarks “There was no collusion”

 **hunkaburninglove:** actually he wrote “colusion” he spelt it wrong

 **pidgey:** i wanna laugh right now but i also wanna cry

 **Shirogane** : Allura, just speaking hypothetically, if we all decided to move to England, would you be willing to take us in

 **alluring** : you know my house is big enough

 **Shirogane** : Pack your bags children, we’re going to England

 **lanceylance:** BET

 **kogane:** god, i fucking wish

 **alluring:** look at all this evidence on Maria Butina

 

 _(16) photos from_   _alluring_

 

 **lanceylance:** she fucking posted iy on fucking insTAGRAM AND TWITTER

 **alluring:** here's a picture she allegedly sent to her handler Alexander Torshin

 

 _(1) photo from_   _alluring_

 

 **kogane:** she's literally at his inaguration oh m yg od

 **kogane:** ALL OF THESE PHOTOS ARE CONNECTING HER TO HIM AND PUTIN

 **hunkaburninglove:** i am....so tired

 

 _(1) photo from_   _pidgey_

 

 **pidgey:** Trump alsoCROSSED OUT, “and those involved in meddling should be brought to justice.” in his printed remarks

 **lanceylance:** i am tired i am fucking stressed every single week it's some new shit i just want it to stop

 **alluring:** honestly, seeing this play out from another country

 **alluring:** yikes

 **lanceylance:** AMERICA'S A FFUCKIJG SHIYSHOW

 **lanceylance:** i actually want to scream

 **pidgey:** mood

 **kogane:** mood

 **hunkaburninglove:** mood

 **Shirogane:** How about all of you put down your phones for a bit?

 **Shirogane:** Go watch some Netflix and take your minds off of what's happening for the rest of the evening.

 **alluring:** yeah, being teenagers/young adults in this mess is probably drowning you

 **alluring:** go watch Parks and Recreations or B99 or something

 **alluring:** i'll be doing more research on this 

 **lanceylance:**.....yeah you're right

 **lanceylance:** goodbye guys, i'm gonna snuggle with the kitties and try to watch B99

 **kogane:**  bye

 **pidgey:**  bye-a 

 **hunkaburninglove:**  i'm gonna try to get rid off this headache

 

_kogane is now offline_

lanceylance  _is now offline_

_pidgey is now offline_

_hunkaburninglove is now offline_

 

 **Shirogane:** I'm gonna go check on Keith for a bit

 **Shirogane:** I'll come back and help you though

 **alluring:** no need, stay with Keith

 **alluring:**  i imagine you're incredibly upset as well

 **alluring:**  go and relax, i'll be fine on my own

 **Shirogane: .....** if you're sure

 **alluring:** go on 'kashi

 **Shirogane:** Thank you, Allura

 **Shirogane:**  Goodbye.

 

 

_Shirogane is now offline_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, watching America from the Caribbean is really something, because I'm always disgusted with Trump and the state America's in and I always worry for the decent people who's just as fed up with everything - if not more.  
> Also I don't know why the end notes for the first chapter is appearing everywhere other than there but oh well, I hope archive fixes it.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you in the next one.


	4. shut up it's fucking red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Keith finally get their cats, more discussion on the fuck-up that is America, its president and the resulting news stemming from the Trump-Putin conference and someone gets added to the main group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I may make this fic a mixture of chat logs and actual story writing? I guess I'm sticking to that?? I can't promise anything well-written though, so I apologize in advance.
> 
> Side note - everything that they talk about in the group chat has a link, so you can click it to understand more on what exactly they're talking about if you don't already know by context.

_**let’s overthrow the government** _

_**Jul 18 th, 2018. 10:30am.** _

 

_(6) photos from Shirogane_

 

 **Shirogane:** Can we join too? 

 **lanceylance** : YEAAAAHHHHH

 **lanceylance** : u two better spam pictures of red and black 

 **kogane:** did you just

 **kogane:** you named OUR cats

 **lanceylance** : look me in the eye and tell me shiro didn’t name his black

 **kogane:** how can i do that we’re in a group chat

 **lanceylance** : asgsfdfjh shut up mullet am i wrong?

 **kogane:** ….no you’re not

 **pidgey** : afddfshdj shiro REALLY

 **Shirogane** : …..I didn’t know what else to name her

 **lanceylance** : SEE

 **lanceylance** : therefore you’re keeping the name red

 **kogane:** that name makes no sense she’s orange

 **lanceylance** : she’s red-orange

 **lanceylance** : BLOOD ORANGE

 **alluring** : SHUT UP IT’S FUCKING RED

 **hunkaburninglove** : ADHDSHK I love how THAT’S your entrance into the group chat

 **lanceylance** : seeeeee

 **kogane:** fine I’ll keep red

 **lanceylance** : WOOOOOO

 **hunkaburninglove** : how have both of your cats been so far

 

_(1) photo from hunkaburninglove_

 

 **hunkaburninglove** : mine's just been dozing

 **alluring** : awwwwww 

 **Shirogane** : I took Black to all the rooms for her to get comfortable

 **Shirogane** : So far she seems to love it

 **Shirogane** : Red scratched Keith when he tried to pick her up

 **pidgey:**  AHAHHAHAHAHA

 **hunkaburninglove** : ohmy gosh really

 **lanceylance:** iM WHEEZING

 **kogane:** SHE'S A DEMON 

 **kogane:** AN ACTUAL DEMON FROM HELL

 **kogane:** after she scratched me i thought i should just leave her

 **kogane:** and she went up to my room on her own

 

_(1) photo from kogane_

 

 **kogane:** nOW SHE REFUSES TO LET ME SIT ON MY OWN BED 

 **alluring** : her eyes i'M CRYING

 **pidgey:** "i know you don't think you're gonna sleep here tonight"

 **lanceylance:** afsadghk dude im pretty sure she's just being a little shit cats are like that

 **lanceylance:** considering she let u hold her and pick her up when u guys came over

 **lanceylance:** give her a bit to fully adjust and she'll love u

 **kogane:** yeah mhmm sure

 **kogane:** fucking demon

  

 

_**let’s overthrow the government** _

_**Jul 18 th, 2018. 11:35am.** _

 

[_(1) link from_   _lanceylance_](https://twitter.com/Channel4News/status/1019620675038871553)

 

 **lanceylance** : so i know we said we wouldn't focus on the disgustingness that is America and its president and country but

 **lanceylance** : this is terrifying

 **kogane:** what...what the fuck

 **kogane:** what the fuck is this

 **alluring:** why am i still surprised that people are still supporting that dumbass cheeto 

 **hunkaburninglove** : THIS IS A CULT THIS IS LITERALLY A CULT

 **pidgey** : “I’m supposed to change my opinion about a President that's doing all kinds of amazingly positive things because of a one-hour press conference?”

 **pidgey** : UM YES BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

 **pidgey** : also what amazing positive things has he done because i would love to hear them

 **kogane:** this is so gross

 **Shirogane** : I want to say that they're just naive but I know better. I've known better for the past years.

 **lanceylance** : yep, they’re not naive. they’re willfully ignorant, deeply unhappy & racist.

 

_[(1) link from alluring](https://www.yahoo.com/news/trumps-son-concerned-wiretaps-show-trump-jr-met-putin-ally-231215529.html?soc_src=hl-viewer&soc_trk=tw) _

 

 **alluring** _ **:**_ so uh

 **alluring** _ **:**_ this is interesting

 **pidgey** : UM HI WHAT THE FUCK

 **kogane:** jfc

 **lanceylance** : like father, like son good fucking god

 **lanceylance:** tbh i'm not so surprised that trump's son was also connected with russia

 **hunkaburninglove** : "Trump's son should be concerned"

 **hunkaburninglove** : did you mean: Trump's son is fucking guilty considering we actually have audio linking that russian national to him

 **Shirogane** : What the actual hell is actually going on right now?

 **alluring** _ **:**_  so the FBI fully came out with information on Maria Butina

 

_[(1) link from alluring](https://www.thedailybeast.com/maria-butina-who-infiltrated-nra-and-gop-has-ties-to-russian-intelligence-prosecutors-say/) _

 

 **alluring** _ **:**_ They say that she was compared to Russian spy Anna Chapman by a Russian Official, was planning to leave Washington (or the country but definitely Washington) and offered someone sex in exchange for a position in a special interest organization during her work in the US

 **lanceylance** : WHICH CRUSTY MAN DID SHE SLEEP WITH

 **kogane:** ew

 

_[(1) link from hunkaburninglove](https://twitter.com/christinawilkie/status/1019595318277693445) _

 

 **hunkaburninglove** : Bob Corker: "Trump's Europe trip "wasn't perfect."

 **hunkaburninglove:** yeah nO SHIT BOB

 **pidgey:** asdhdj i just want to use that as a response to something obvious from now on

 **Shirogane** : "But I thought yesterday was a step forward and I’m glad it occurred,"

 **Shirogane:** I'm sorry, a step forward to what exactly?

 **Shirogane:** Because he seems happy about this.

 **kogane:** that man is notorious for being a tool and he is as weak as his president

 **lanceylance** : nopenope no p e i'm gonna get some lunch and hug my mama because i am tired

 **pidgey:** mood

 **hunkaburninglove:** mood

 

_**let’s overthrow the government** _

_**Jul 18 th, 2018. 3:45pm.** _

 

 **lanceylance**  renamed **let’s overthrow the government**  to  **Paladins of Voltron™**

 

 **lanceylance:**  okay so i kinda don't want to hear anymore about Trump and Russia and...everything else for the time being cause....yeah

 **lanceylance:** i'm getting anxious about it

 **kogane:** are you okay right now

 **lanceylance:** yah yeah let's just change the subject

 **pidgey:** okay so i've been thinking

 **kogane:** oh no 

 **pidgey:** dasdsfdgh shut ur fuck

 **pidgey:** anyway i've been thinking

 **pidgey:** matt's known about this group chat for a while now

 **pidgey:** he has no problem with not being in the chat btw

 **pidgey:** but do you guys have any problem with adding him adasdgasdf it's fine if you don't want to

 **lanceylance:** uM YES

 **lanceylance:** my fav holt sibling

 **pidgey:** oh god never mind i just picture both of you in the same group chat and i swear i saw hell

 **lanceylance:** matthew MATTHEW

 **hunkaburninglove:** yaayyy matt

 **kogane:** it's fine pidge you can add him

 **alluring:** ooooh both first and second generation in the same group chat i approve

 **Shirogane:** Go ahead pidge

 **lanceylance:** MATTHEW MATTHEW

 **pidgey:** alright here goes

 

  _pidgey has added memebigboi to this conversation_

 

 **memebigboi:** what the fuck is this

 **lanceylance:** matthew

 **lanceylance:** mathematics 

 **lanceylance:** matt attack

 **lanceylance:** mattketchum

 **kogane:** jesus

 **lanceylance:**  'tis a group chat

 **memebigboi:** OHHHH

 **hunkaburninglove:** matt!!!!

 **kogane:** hey matt

 **memebigboi:** WHAT IS UP MY CRANKY CREW

 **pidgey:** oh god yep this was a mistake

 **pidgey:** there's two of them 

 **lanceylance:**  um excuse you is it really so bad to have more of me

 **kogane:** yes 

 **pidgey:**  yes 

 **hunkaburninglove:**  yes

 **lanceylance:**  THE DISRESPECT

 **memebigboi:**  hey leave my favourite son alone

 **pidgey:**  of course he'd be your favourite

 **alluring:**  matt!!

 **Shirogane:** Matthew

 **memebigboi:**  'kashi and 'lura!!!!

 **memebigboi:**  and how have my darlings survived without me in this group chat

 **lanceylance:**  woaH WHAT

 **pidgey:** I FUCK I N G KNEW IT 

 **kogane:** yep i suspected for a while now

 **hunkaburninglove:**  yooooooo

 **memebigboi:**  wait 

 **memebigboi:**  asaddfsf did you nOT TELL THEM

 **Shirogane:** We were both waiting for a perfect time to tell them

 **Shirogane:** But I figured you'd start the conversation when you entered

 **Shirogane:** I was right

 **alluring:**  ^

 **memebigboi:**  asgvfh

 **pidgey:**  HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL YOUR FAVORITE SISTER

 **memebigboi:**  you're my only sister 

 **pidgey:** THAT MAKES IT WORSE

 **pidgey:** HOW LONG HAVE YOU THREE BEEN DATING

 **lanceylance:**  um yes i would also like to know this

 **memebigboi:**  we all datED back in the Garrison days

 **memebigboi:** for like.....1 year?

 **kogane:** oh

 **pidgey:** oh 

 **pidgey:** i thought you were gonna say you all were still dating

 **pidgey:** shit i'm sorry

 **hunkaburninglove:**  i honestly thought the same i would've screamed

 **lanceylance:**  SAME

 **Shirogane:** Yep, 1 year

 **alluring:**  it was such a back and forth until we all decided to just date each other honestly

 **alluring:** we all broke off on good terms though

 **alluring:** adsfgsfg pidge it's fine

 **Shirogane:** Really Pidge, it's okay

 **memebigboi:** yep yep yep katie batie it's all good

 **memebigboi:** we still flirt with each other whenever we're together to confuse people

 **alluring:** that's also just our friendship

 **hunkaburninglove:** amazing

 **lanceylance:**  shiro, matt and allura 

 **lanceylance:** the amazing powercouple we never knew we all needed

 

**_the sweet tea of klance_ **

**_Jul 18 th, 2018. 4_ ** **_:15 pm._ **

 

_pidgey has added memebigboi to this conversation_

 

 **pidgey:** also you're here

 **pidgey:** the group chat where we dump all of our klance evidence

 **memebigboi :** asfdhgf klance amazing

 **memebigboi:** they STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN TOGETHER

 **memebigboi:** JFC

 

**lanceylance, kogane**

**Jul 18th, 2018. 3:39 am.**

**lanceylance:** what happens if i get scared half to death twice

 **lanceylance:** the earth is a huge sphere so does that mean ball really is life

 **lanceylance:** if you get out of the shower clean, then why does your towel get dirty

 **lanceylance:** why is there a d in fridge but not in refrigerator

 **lanceylance:** where does the d go

 **lanceylance:** why is the alphabet in the order it is

 **lanceylance:** why can't we start with j 

 **kogane:** literally why are you up you beanpole

 **lanceylance:** hnnnnnn

 **kogane:** lance 

 **lanceylance:** HNNNNNNNN

 **kogane:** _lance_

 **lanceylance:** okay okay i never went to sleep

 **lanceylance:** i can't sleep

 **kogane:** do you want to call

 **lanceylance:** yeah if you want

 

_kogane is now calling....._

 

When Lance appears in the small box on the upper left of Keith's phone screen, he's wearing a blue NASA sweatshirt and a grin on his lips. However - Keith rubs his eyes to clear any sort of sleepiness, eyes _really_   looking at him - his eyes were rimmed red as if...as if he'd been crying. His grin was fake and Lance's cerulean eyes look like they're shimmering from the way his bedroom light is reflecting off them, but there's clearly some sort of moisture there....some unshed tears?

Lance however, leaned forward from where he was sitting up in bed, crawling up close to his phone camera. " _Keith_ ," he loudly gasped, "How could you _scandalously_ blind my _virgin eyes_?" Keith raised an eyebrow as he dramatically brought his hand up to his forehead, head back towards the ceiling. " _Válgame Dios_ , those shoulders!" He winced as there was some sort of rapid banging behind him from the other side wall, and he sheepishly called out, "Lo siento, Ronnie."

Keith frowns, not falling for it, his voice pitched soft. "Lance? You okay?"

He slumped in response, facial expression changing - he looks tired. This was not the first time he's looked this way in their late night/early morning facetimes either. Lance at first, seemed like the most confident person he's ever met in all his eighteen years, but it was a front - a facade of bravado that he usually let people believe was actually him, to cover up the insecurities he had. It took a while for Keith to truly realize it, but when he did, he knew that he needed to do his best to help somewhat, even if it wasn't that much.

There was a pause before he sighs, and takes another stab at smiling. It's weak and thin in the dim light. "Nope, but I don't want to really talk about it right now. Can we just...talk about anything?"

Keith nodded, eyes peering into the small box. "Where's your cat?"

Lance released a gasp, dropping his phone and letting out a hurried "hold on a sec" before disappearing out of sight for a moment. Keith let out a few chuckles as he listened to Lance's pounding footsteps for a moment before there was a fumbling of the phone, Lance popping back into frame. "Say hello to Blue!" he said, holding her up to the camera. Said cat mewed in response, looking as if Lance woke her up just for this - which really, he most likely did. She wiggled in his arm for a few seconds before he released her, dropping onto his body. Blue shoved her face into him, loudly purring for a moment before he gently cradled her to his chest.  

He smiled at the scene, before saying dryly. "You are absolute shit at names: Red, Black and Blue? Why do I think you named them after the lions on Voltron?"

Lance scoffed, noticeably not answering his question. "Excuse you, I am _excellent_ at names. Where's red?"

Keith didn't have to look at himself on his phone to know how much he was scowling, eyeing said cat - _hell demon_ \- at the foot of his bed. She eventually allowed him to sleep in his own bed, though, not before giving him what he supposed was a glare. "Sleeping." Lance snickered, passing a hand across Blue.

"You should let her sleep on your chest."

"No chance in hell."

"I'm _serious_ ," Lance softly spoke, glancing towards his cat with so much endearment. "She'll love it and it'll feel nice." 

Keith murmured, "She'll scratch me first before allowing that to happen. What's Blue been like so far?"

His eyes grew wide, excitement rolling of him in waves before he rambles on about how curious Blue's been ever since he brought all the kittens in his house. Keith releases noises to affirm that he's still listening, burrowing further in his comforter as the time passed, stories and conversation passing between the two boys. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I totally was gonna make Shiro, Allura and Matt be in a polyamorous relationship when news came out today at the San Diego Comic Con that Shiro is queer (his specific sexuality wasn't said, only the fact that he's LGBTQ+ but the fandom is running with him being Gay) AND he had an actual fiancé waiting for him at home like BITCH??? Well, they were engaged but broke off the engagement because of the Kerberos mission (since he couldn’t stand losing him if he died) and we're meeting him in season 7.  
> And I'm happy - god was I happy, I was legit screaming for a few seconds because a you know, a cannonly LGBTQ+, war veteran w/ PTSD amputee like??? but that meant I had rewrite EVERYTHING. I'll probably include Adam (his ex) at some point - though not in a main role, more like a "hey, he exists and he's doing this".
> 
> If for some reason, they don't have Adam and Shiro getting back together, then I'll go with what I originally planned.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.  
> See you in the next one.


	5. The Age-old Love Story of the Ages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relay of the story of how exactly Shiro, Allura and Matt got together, and everyone rejoices at a recent development in one of their shows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: (looks at the last time I've written - three weeks ago)  
> Me: uh, I can explain - 
> 
> Okay, I was actually waiting until season seven came out so I can fully decide on how to move with this story and change whatever needed to be changed, but oops.....that didn't happen.
> 
> You'll see little changes here and there based on whenever the show reveals important information (these changes won't change the overall story so far, it's things like the summary, tags, family information, etc.)  
> And yes, I'm venting my feelings on some people in the fandom because (deep sigh) - y'all need Jesus.

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 19 th, 2018. 3:25 pm._ **

 

 

 **pidgey** : THIS IS A CALL OUT FOR MATTHEMATICS HOLT

 **alluring** : what did he do now

 **memebigboi:** I'VE DONE NOTHING AND YOU CAN'T PIN IT ON ME

 **pidgey:** and yet i was able to pin the bathroom incident on you

 **kogane:** the bathroom incident?

 **memebigboi:** and yet i got you back with the waterbending incident

 **lanceylance:** the WATERBENDING INCIDENT??

 **pidgey:** ADFGFJSADHSJ YOU FUCKER MOM AND DAD WON'T LET ME DO EXPERIMENTS IN THE GARAGE ANYMORE

 **memebigboi:** FUCKING SERVES YOU RIGHT

 **Shirogane:** Why must it always be like this?

 **hunkaburninglove:**  okay we'll get those stories after

 **hunkaburninglove:**  pidge why are you calling him out

 **pidgey:** RIGHT RIGHT 

 **pidgey** : okay i've waited long enough

 **pidgey:** Matt REFUSED to answer any of my questions solely because he wanted to be a fucking dick

 **memebigboi:** you're welcome

 **Shirogane:** Language Pidge

 **pidgey** : i, along with everyone else here would love to know how exactly all three of you got together

 **lanceylance:** yeeeessss

 **lanceylance:** was it love at first sight

 **lanceylance:** with people like shiro and allura i wouldnt put it past u matt 

 **hunkaburninglove:**  was it after knowing it each other for so long

 **pidgey** : did it stem from drunken confessions

 **memebigboi:** jesus pidgey

 **memebigboi:** this isn't a fanfic wtf

 **lanceylance:** okay but if it was, what website would it be on?

 **lanceylance:** definitely not fanfiction.net

 **pidgey** : archive of our own

 **pidgey** : that site has alll the good shit

 **hunkaburninglove:**  i concur

 **lanceylance:** u read my mind  

 **kogane:**.....i know nothing about these sites so i can't say

 **lanceylance:** ohhoHO

 **pidgey** : don't worry, lance and i will educate you

 **kogane:** you say that and yet

 **kogane:** i'm worried

 **memebigboi:**  .....are y'all done or....

 **alluring** : why'd you stop it i was gonna see how long they would keep this going

 **pidgey** : yes yes yes backstory timeee

 **Shirogane:**  Well.....

 **memebigboi:**  oh god you're gonna get all sappy lemme tell it

 **Shirogane:**  What? No, I'm just gonna tell it as is 

 **memebigboi:**  yeah right i know u takashi shirogane 

 **Shirogane:**  I'm literally gonna tell it like it is why are you like this?

 **alluring** : bloody hell i'll fucking tell it you knobs

 **hunkaburninglove:** the british jumped out

 **memebigboi:**  ugh fine but don't forget to make it sound cool

 **alluring:**.....so anyway

 **memebigboi:** >:o

 **alluring:** we all know that Matt and Shiro were best buds ever since kindergarten

 **alluring:** and we all know that i transferred into their year and quickly became friends with them

 **alluring:** Shiro, Matt and I were the modern counterparts of the Harry Potter trio

 **alluring:** i don't think i need to say who was who

 **alluring:** and before he interjects Matt was Ronald

 **memebigboi:**......well then

 **alluring:** Matt, one day, caught feelings after seeing Shiro with his shirt off dripping wet and came to the conclusion that he was probably gay

 **pidgey:** SHIRO WAS YOUR SEXUAL AWAKENING IM WHEE Z I NH

 **lanceylance:** okay but like....i feel u

 **Shirogane:**  .....I'm sorry, what?

 **lanceylance:** you're an attractive man daddy-o

 **memebigboi:** thank you lancey

 **hunkaburninglove:**.....okay, to be fair....shiro's pretty hunky

 **Shirogane:**  I'm sorry, wHAT?

 **kogane:** dude, everyone save me and possibly pidge had a crush on you at some point

 **kogane:** me for obvious reasons

 **memebigboi:** nah pidgeot had a small crush on him when she was 10

 **pidgey:** HWAT THE FUCK MATT

 **lanceylance:** hwat

 **hunkaburninglove:** hwat

 **kogane:** hwat

 **memebigboi:** hwat

 **pidgey:** i hope every single one of you choke

 **memebigboi:** love you toooo

 **pidgey:** ESPECIALLY YOU YOU RAT

 **Shirogane:** I'm sorry, I'm still reeling from finding out that everyone here has liked me at some point???

 **lanceylance:** u were a man who knew what he wanted, u were extremely caring, u could totally bench press us with them guns and u were attractive as hell

 **lanceylance:** not to mention that u were a huge nerd

 **lanceylance:** who _wouldn't_ want to tap that

 **Shirogane:**.....thank you?

 **alluring:** (claps hands to attention) alright children back to my story

 **alluring:** Shiro also caught feelings due to seeing Matt drunkenly singing baby got back during one of our get-togethers

 **pidgey:** wow 

 **hunkaburninglove:** oh my gosh

 **lanceylance:** AMAZING 

 **kogane:** yeah i can see that

 **kogane:** though by just him singing?

 **alluring:** oh no, there was a lap dance

 **hunkaburninglove:** OHMY GDO

 **lanceylance:** aMAZING

 **pidgey:** UGH THAT'S SOMETHING I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW

 **memebigboi:** excuse u i am an AMAZING dancer

 **memebigboi:** and shiro definitely enjoyed it

 **pidgey:** ASDFSGF YOU DISGUSTING HEATHEN

 **kogane:** okay nope allura continue i don't want to hear any more of that

 **lanceylance:** WHAT HAPPENED NEXT??

 **alluring:** so picture me, ever the observer, catching onto the fact that they both have a crush on the other

 **alluring:** i also became a crush counselor to the both of them and i was subjected to hearing about how gay they both were and how attractive the other is

 **alluring:** especially Shiro because good lord he is horrible in dealing with how to start a relationship

 **alluring:** they FINALLY got their shit together and started to date after Shiro accidentally confessed 

 **alluring:** BUT THEN

 **alluring:** Matt became sexually confused after seeing me in thigh-highs boots even though i constantly wore them

 **memebigboi:** first of all, it was a photoshoot and you're generally attractive as fuck

 **lanceylance:** again, i feel u

 **memebigboi:** after SO LONG i came to the conclusion that i was a raging bisexual

 **alluring:** and consequently went into a huge panic

 **alluring:** because he loved Shiro but??? i was pretty hot??

 **pidgey:** oh my god

 **alluring:** he didn't want to be lying to Shiro either because he didn't deserve it 

 **alluring:** so they had a little talk about it, Matt pouring his heart out and feeling like a piece of shit as he's talking

 **alluring:** Shiro just sitting there, taking his words in

 **alluring:** and when Matt's done, waiting for Shiro to absolutely hate his guts and never want anything to do with him, Shiro goes:

 **alluring:** "have you ever heard of polyamorous relationships?"

 **lanceylance:** ADHSGDSGFG

 **hunkaburninglove:** amazing

 **alluring:** so Shiro explains polyamory to Matt who, was absolutely shook

 **alluring:** but Matt's still concerned about his relationship so he asks if how he would feel about him dating me

 **alluring:** long story short Shiro said that he had absolutely no problem with it

 **kogane:** but there was no confirmation that you liked Matt

 **alluring:** which Matt freaked out about

 **Shirogane:** he kept worrying that it was going to ruin their friendship if he told her

 **alluring:** it turned out that i did, in fact, like Matt at the time

 **alluring:** he actually did confess to me and also talked about the whole polyamory conversation he had with Shiro and wondered how i felt about it

 **alluring:** you know that meme from parks and recreations where April goes "hi, this is my boyfriend Derek and this is his boyfriend, Ben"?

 **alluring:** that's how we would be if i were to agree 

 **alluring:** i think you all know how that ended seeing as that's what prompted this entire conversation

 **alluring:** Matt was Shiro's boyfriend, and i was Matt's girlfriend

 **alluring:** it was great and we all were there for each other and after a while we decided that we would all be better off as best friends so we all mutually ended it together 

 **alluring:** but we also decided that we could still flirt with each other because that was our relationship and we like to confuse people

 **alluring:** AND that's the end of it lol

 **Shirogane:** Yep, pretty much.

 **memebigboi:** wasn't as dramatic as it could've been but i'll take it

 **kogane:** wow

 **pidgey:** i have been enlightened

 **lanceylance:** the age old love story of the ages 

 

 

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 19 th, 2018. 9:25 pm._ **

 

  _(_ _7) photos from lanceylance_

 

 **lanceylance:** friendly reminder that this man is actually gay i still canNOT BELIEVE

 **pidgey:** I ACTUALLY SCREAMED TO THE HEAVENS

 **memebigboi:** i can attest to that she fucking scared the kitten

 **lanceylance:** like....they didn’t choose some background character for rep

 **lanceylance:** they didn’t choose a one-off character for rep

 **lanceylance:** they chose the fucking lEADER THAT EVERYONE ON THE TEAM LOOKS UP TO I AM SCREECHING 

 **pidgey:** the network actually took a stance on showing a gay hero to be a role model for children in the 7+ demographic 

 **pidgey:** gay people in media is so frowned upon in children's media and YET THEY'RE SHOWING A BADASS ACTION HERO AS A GAY MAN this man went through sO MUCH

 **kogane:** don't forget about the fact that he's disabled 

 **kogane:** like this isn't headcannon assumptions this is an actual gay asian man who's a war veteran, amputee and suffers with PTSD honestly i'm actually proud

 **hunkaburninglove:** okay but imagine

 **hunkaburninglove:** renowned space pilot, famous celebrity astronaut who is gay and had a boyfriend

 **hunkaburninglove:** iMagine him going to LGBT+ events and being a public speaker my heart man

 **lanceylance:** if they don't show his exboyfriend again i'm gonna riot

 **kogane:** yeah we're gonna meet him

 **kogane:** according to the creators he and his ex were great partners and they intially wanted to just leave them as roomates

 **memebigboi:** aND THEY WERE ROOMATES

 **lanceylance:** OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMATES

 **pidgey:** nice nice nICE

 **pidgey:** i'm just so??? happy????

 **pidgey:** like even if they don't get back together, just acknowledging that they actually had a relationship???

 **pidgey:** amazing

 **hunkaburninglove:** um they better get back together and get married and have the rest of the team at their wedding i will speak it into existence 

 **kogane:** but didn't the creators say that they were initially going to kill him off 

 **kogane:** and now that he actually didn't die, what if his ex does?

 **hunkaburninglove:** NOPE

 **lanceylance:** TAKE TAHT BACK YOU FUCKER

 **pidgey:** HMMMMMM i feel that too buttttt

 **pidgey:** that's something to cry about if it happens i'm not dealing with that now

 **pidgey:** what i am going to focus on is my bOY GETTING THE DEVELOPMENT HE DESERVES

 **pidgey:** I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG

 **kogane:** same 

 **lanceylance:** MOOD

 **lanceylance:** all the characters that didn't get focused on i want them to thrive and prosper in the new seasons

 **hunkaburninglove:** AMEN

 **kogane:** i'm just trying my best to stay away from the fanbase for a bit

 **kogane:** they're constantly fighting about which ship will be revealed 

 **lanceylance:** those heathens

 **hunkaburninglove:** honestly like OBVIOUSLY YOUR SHIP HASN'T HAD MUCH INTERACTION LAST SEASON BECAUSE A BUNCH OF SHIT WENT DOWN

 **hunkaburninglove:** WHERE IN ALL OF THAT ARE THEY GONNA GET TO INTERACT

 **pidgey:** EXACTLY

 **pidgey:** not to mention that they ALWAYS take things out of context from what the voice actors say

 **kogane:** yep

 **lanceylance:** listen, i love my boy - he brings some god tier joy in my life concerning my ship but even i know that i gotta wait and not jump to conclusions. he literally can't reveal so much or else HE'LL GET IN TROUBLE so i'm not jumping to conclusions

 **pidgey:** god i love him he's like another tom holland

 **lanceylance:** AGHFDSFSH HE IS 

 **kogane:** listen, i got into this show because it was about space

 **kogane:** i wasn't expecting to love it so much

 **kogane:** i really don't care about ships like i'm happy for any chance of representation and i ship two characters but

 **kogane:** that's not what the show's mainly about

 **hunkaburninglove:** exactly like i want two people to become cannon but i'm not gonna act like that is all what the show's about and i'm not going to annoy the creators, the voice actors or hell, anyone in the fandom about it like who the fuck raised you???

 **hunkaburninglove:** honestly seeing any sort of shipping discourse is so...tiring

 **pidgey:** mood

 **lanceylance:** mood

 **kogane:** mood

 **pidgey:** hopefully they become cannon, if not ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 **lanceylance:** if not then i'm definitely gonna question what the fuck was up with that whole "we make a great team"  but same

 **lanceylance:** okay we're done u LURKERS YOU CAN SPEAK NOW

 **memebigboi:** finally

 **alluring:** am i the only one who visualized Shiro when Lance started talking about that guy

 **lanceylance:**.............

 **pidgey:**........

 **hunkaburninglove:**..............

 **kogane:** huh.

 **lanceylance:** OH M YGHJOD

 **pidgey:** HOW DID WE NOT SEE THIS BEFORE

 **Shirogane:**....What?

 **hunkaburninglove:** it makes.....so much sense

 **hunkaburninglove:** shiro's a dead ringer for him

 **kogane:** now that i think about it, there's a lot of fucking similarities between all of us and those characters

 **pidgey:** i hope all of you know that i'm thinking of a fancast right now

 **lanceylance:** nope nope n ope we are not speaking that into existence

 **kogane:** why not??

 **lanceylance:** NOPE

 

**hunkaburninglove, lanceylance**

**_Jul 19 th, 2018. 10:05 pm._ **

 

 **hunkaburninglove:** is it because you're a dead ringer for the blue paladin?

 **lanceylance:** hUSH

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually was finishing this up today when I found out more news about Voltron - one of those things being the names of Lance's siblings (some of them anyway, I don't know how many siblings Lance actually has) and I just?? This is exactly why I wanted to wait because now I have to edit an already written chapter but oh well, my ass knew this was gonna happen while I was writing so I shouldn't be complaining.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, and I'll see you in the next one.


	6. but with this kid? damnnn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes Keith come over so their cats can have a play date, the group wonders when Shiro will be exposed and Keith comes to a earth-shattering realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I've written, Jesus H. Christ wHY the hell did I decide to write so much???

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 21 th, 2018. 9:11am._ **

 

 **lanceylance:** after months and months of thinking this over i have finally come to a decision 

 

_lanceylance changed his name to lancelicious_

 

 **lancelicious** : this finally represents who i am inside 

 **kogane:** jesus christ

 **pidgey:** you're so fucking dramatic i 

 **hunkaburninglove:** why do i feel like this change was brought on by listening to fergalicious multiple times at 3am

 **alluring:**  ....that's so...specific hunk

 **hunkaburninglove:** i've been friends with lance for 14 years i know his ways

 **lancelicious** : he's right

 **lancelicious** : drift compatible 

 **hunkaburninglove:** drift compatible

 **lancelicious** : ANYWAY

 

 _(_   _7) photos from lancelicious_

 

 **lancelicious** : how are my godchildren doing blue misses her siblings terribly

 **alluring:**  ohmy go d her eyes!!!

 

 _(_ _5) photos from hunkaburninglove_

 

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  she loves laying on my head for some reason

 **lancelicious** : nOW THIS IS THE TYPE OF CONTENT I LOVE TO SEE

 **alluring:**  PURE

 

 _(_  6 _) photos from pidgey_

 

 **pidgey:** rover loves his new bro

 **pidgey:** matt tried to pet him and he got scratched

 **alluring:**  ahahhsghdh

 **memebigboi:** SHE TRAINED HIM TO ATTACK ME

 **pidgey:** i've only had him for a week i wouldn't be able to do that ratthew

 **pidgey:** i'm waiting until mid august to teach him

 **lancelicious** : PFTTT

 **memebigboi:**  the dISRESPECT

 **pidgey:** serves you right you rat

 **memebigboi:**  i have nEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN MY LIFE

 **pidgey:**  now that's a fucking lie

 **alluring:**  didn't you slash Zarkon's tires AND cover his windshield with eggs just before we all graduated?

 **kogane:** wait what

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  tHAT WAS YOU

 **lancelicious** : I'M WHEEZN I G HOW DID YOU NOT GET CAUGHT BY THE CAMERAS

 **pidgey:** he hacked into them so they could 'mysteriously go offline' while he was doing it

 **Shirogane:** He also poured laxatives in his coffee

 **memebigboi:** ok first of all thats bc he was being a homphobic piece of shit and giving me detention for being my outrageously bisexual self

 **memebigboi:** everything else was because i jsut hated him

 **memebigboi:** fucking bitch ass

 **lancelicious** : MATT I LOVE YOU HOLY SHIT

 **memebigboi:** tHANK YOU

 **memebigboi:** SOMEONE APPRECIATES MY VALIANT EFFORTS

 **alluring:**  um excuse you

 **alluring:**  i could have sworn that both me and 'kashi appreciated your efforts

 **lancelicious** : SPACE DADDY WHAT

 **lancelicious:** allura i get but you???

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  OHMY GOSH??

 **pidgey:** smh it's always the nice ones

 **kogane:** you guys actually think that shiro's a saint?

 **memebigboi:** i know right? the audacity

 **memebigboi:** shiro's jsut as much as a terror as me full stop point blank

 **Shirogane:** Um

 **Shirogane:** I don't like where this is going, I thought we were dragging Matt.

 **lancelicious** : OH MY GOD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL STORIES OF ALL THE THINGS YOUNGER SHIRO HAS DONE

 **kogane:** do you want it alphabetically or in chronological order?

 **Shirogane:** How about we don't do that?

 **pidgey:** how about you mind your business

 **pidgey:** keith continue

 **pidgey:** matt and allura may also interject with stories

 **kogane:** well

 **Shirogane:** Keith,just remember that I have 13 years of blackmail on you.

 **Shirogane:** I will actually post a video of that thing that you don't want to see the light of day.

 **kogane:** and never mind

 **lancelicious** : PFTTT WHAT VIDEO

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  ADHSGJGF

 **memebigboi:** smh you fucking coward

 **Shirogane:** Hey Matt, remember that video I got of you while you were drunk at Allura's?

 **memebigboi:** yeah so shiro was a total angel

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  OHMY GODDD

 **pidgey:** NO

 **lancelicious** : NOOOO

 **lancelicious** : PRINCESS PLEASE

 **lancelicious** : I'M SURE HE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO BLACKMAIL YOU WITH

 **alluring:** you're right he doesn't 

 **alluring:**  I'm the one with all the information to use against people

 **alluring:**  hmmmmm 

 **Shirogane:** Allura _please_

 **alluring:**  hmmmmm

 **alluring:**  fine I won't say anything

 **pidgey:** NO

 **alluring:**  for now

 **pidgey:** oh

 **pidgey:** that's still a promise to reveal shiro's true nature i'll take it

 **Shirogane:** Katie why?

 **pidgey:** you've had it good for too long

 **alluring:** agghasfsgfjg

 **kogane:** well that's not ominous at all

 **lancelicious** : look we all just really like the idea of amazing, patient, well-rounded Shiro being a front for his true self so he can set a good example

 **alluring:** shiro is a fucking gay disater

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  AMAZING

 **lancelicious** : ADS SFFJDF 

 **Shirogane:** ANYWAY

 **Shirogane:** Continuing from what Lance had asked earlier

 **pidgey:** you can't run forever daddy-o

 

 _(_   _7) photos from Shirogane_

  

 **Shirogane:** Keith and I took the cats on a walk

 **alluring:**  awwwww

 **lancelicious** : finally he took my suggestion seriously

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  you suggested to keith to walk red?

 **kogane:** yeah he kept saying that it'll make her feel energized in our facetime call

 **memebigboi:** so you guys facetime each other

 **pidgey:** inch resting

 **kogane:**.....yeah?

 **lancelicious** : what are u scheming about u gremlin

 **alluring:**  has Red gotten used to you yet Keith?

 **lancelicious** : nice diversion by the way

 **kogane:** she isn't as mean i can say that

 **kogane:** she more keeps to herself rather than come next to anyone most of the time

 **Shirogane:** What are you talking about? She's literally on my chest?

 

 _(_   _1_ _) photo from Shirogane_

 

 **kogane:** because she actually likes you 

 **kogane:** though i can't imagine why 

 **Shirogane:** Don't listen to Keith, Red likes him

 **Shirogane:** She allowed him to pick her up and put her leash on

 **kogane:** she also scratched me while i was doing that

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  pretty sure she's just being a cat

 **lancelicious** : yep

 **lancelicious** : also our children need to have a playdate

 **lancelicious** : who wants to come over to have an impromptu playdate

 **pidgey:** i would but matt's taking me to the vet for my boy

 **alluring:**  sadly i have no cats 

 **alluring:**  also i'm on the other side of the world so

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  i'm going out with the mothers

 **lancelicious** : tell Rosa and Tamah that i said heyyyy

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  will do

 **Shirogane:** Sorry Lance, today's a bit of a lazy day for me. Maybe another time?

 **lancelicious** : no worries dad take care of yourself

 

**lancelicious, kogane**

**Jul 21 _st_** **,2018. 11:15 am.**

 

 **lancelicious:** keith

 **lancelicious:** keithhhh 

 **lancelicious:** keef

 **lancelicious:** keefers

 **kogane:** what the fuck do you want lance

 **lancelicious:** blue misses all of her siblings

 **kogane:** yes i saw

 **lancelicious:** no one else can come

 **kogane:** ......and what does this have to do with me?

 **lancelicious:** u gotta come over and bring red

 **kogane:**.....why

 **lancelicious:** "why" he asks

 **lancelicious:** do u not care for your daughter?? our adopted children must still keep in contact with each other despite living separately

 **lancelicious:** think about ur daughter keith

 **kogane:** jfc you and your dramatic ass

 **kogane:** alright alright i'll be there in twenty

 **lancelicious:** bet bet bet

 

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 21 st, 2018. 11:16 am._ **

 

 

 **lancelicious:** keith's coming over so it's fine

 **pidgey:** oh worm?

 **memebigboi:** oHO?

 **pidgey:** oHHOHO??

 **alluring:**  'tis always the Holt siblings

 **hunkaburninglove** **:**  take pictures!

 **Shirogane:** Have Fun!

 **lancelicious:** but of course

 

**_the sweet tea of klance_ **

**_Jul 21 st, 2018. 11:17  a_ ** **_m._ **

 

 _(_   _1_ _) photo from pidgey_

 

 **pidgey:** iNCH RESTING

 

 

Lance's house finally came into view - it was fairly large, obviously older that Keith was and it reminded him of the house from Modern family. He stopped his motorcycle on the road, pausing as his eyes catch the multiple cars parked in the driveway. Did Lance have other guests over? Because - if Keith followed from his past stays at the McClain-Sanchez household, not that many people lived here, the house only contained Lance, his mother and siblings. Oh god, his social meter _really_   wasn't up for introductions to and questions from other people. 

A low meow reached his ears from the pet-carrying bag on his back and he sighed, taking one leg off. Maybe he could avoid them, maybe Lance would just introduce him quickly and they'll just go up in his room, maybe - 

Delighted screams reach his ears, and his eyes quickly shift to two small children who sprinted from behind the cars, a large golden retriever pounding out behind them. _Oh god no_. While adults would leave him alone after a while, children were genuinely curious - they would question e _very single thing_ about him. He had absolutely no idea how to interact with children - all of Lance's siblings were at least the same age, or older than Lance. These children looked to be about eight at most, and would definitely crowd him with innocent, yet invasive questions. Maybe he could go back home? He could just send Lance a text about how he wasn't feeling okay and that they could reschedule this play date - 

The dog however, stopped chasing the children, barking towards him. One of them - a boy the same tan colour as Lance, pauses his running after a girl as he realizes the dog wasn't following them. He glanced where the retriever was barking at, staring  _directly_ at him, a hesitant look on his face. Shit, he wasn't quick enough. Taking a deep breath, he fumbles in parking the bike, taking the backpack containing Red off of his back to walk up to the house. The other child screeches a loud and high-pitched  _"Tío Lance!"_   towards the house, making Keith wince at the volume. The front door opens immediately, Lance's head poking out, looking extremely confused. It's a wonder why he isn't more alarmed at the call, Keith certainly would be after hearing it.

The girl, hair in curly pigtails, simply points a finger towards him, asking "Who's that?" Lance finally acknowledged him, giving him a smile before walking past the front door. The dog, upon noticing that Lance was walking over, bounded over to him. The blue-eyed boy simply walked towards Keith, only acknowledging it with a pat on the head. The children walked a slight distance behind him, looking curious at the new visitor.

Lance spoke, looking mock-annoyed, complete with a hand on his hip. "Took you long enough, mullet."

Keith scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Shut the f-"

He quickly caught himself before he finished his sentence, the shifting of a child in his vision making him remember that he wasn't alone with the Cuban boy. Lance wasn't concerned however, his lips quirking into a huge, knowing grin and his eyes were alight with amusement. He fumbled to cover up his words for a good moment before sighing, settling on a weak, "Shut up."

The blue-eyed boy cackled in response, spurring the dog to move towards him, and Keith had no time to prepare for the large retriever ramming into his legs - if it wasn't for his martial arts training, he would've toppled over. Before he could bend down to pet it; the dog jumped up to land its front legs on his shoulders, standing up on its hind legs. Red gave an annoyed mew from the pet-carrying bag in his hand, and Keith used his free hand to pat its head, chuckling slightly - it really was a cute dog. It raised its head to nuzzle more into his hand, before Lance pulled it off of him with ease – he clearly has had experience doing it and smiles apologetically towards him.

"Niblings, this is Keith. He's a friend of mine."  The boy looked past him for a moment, eyes wide before he moved forward to speak; stars in his eyes. 

"Is that _your_ motorcycle?" 

Keith blinked at the absolute glee that was emitting from the child, eyes drifting to Lance in question. He was eyeing the boy with a look of dread. He glanced back towards him, answering with an awkward "Yeah?"

The boy wasn't discouraged by his unenthusiastic response, clasping his hands together. "Can I ride it?"

Keith eyed his motorcycle for a few seconds, before turning back to shrug. "Sure."

" _Yes_!"

" _No_!"

The happy whooping of the boy mixed with the loud alarm of Lance's exclamation. Keith watched as the child frowned towards Lance, a pitiful look in his eyes. " _Please_ , tío Lance!"

"Absolutely not."

"Why?"

Lance simply looked at the boy. "You're six."

"So?"

"Your mother would _kill_ me, Luiz. Do you _want_ your favourite uncle to die?"

The six year old looked as if he was seriously thinking about it, which resulted in Lance spouting off a dramatic tirade about how betrayed he felt. He smiled at the scene, before something moved in the corner of his eye. The little girl who had stayed behind Lance before was now assessing him. He shrunk under her calculating eyes for a moment before she eyed him, saying, "Are you in a gang?"

Keith's eyes grew wide. "What? _No_ , no no."

"Then why are you wearing so much black?"

He looked down at his outfit - it wasn't _all_   black, he had on a red shirt. But he wasn't going to point it out. "I just...really like black?"

The girl hummed at his answer, assessing him again. He fidgeted as he realized what exactly she was focused on: his hair. "How'd you get your hair like that?"

Keith unconsciously curled a finger in his hair. "That's just...how it is?" Because what else could he say? It seemed to work for the kid because she then looked as if something had clicked for her, nodding once before staring him dead in the eyes.

"I'm gonna comb it."

Keith blinked. "Uh....."

Lance seemed to be done talking with Luiz as he immediately saved Keith from answering any further. "Leave him alone, Isa." She relented, but didn't lose the glint in her eyes. Keith exhaled in relief when Lance called for his attention, free from discerning what exactly the girl was planning to do. 

"Let's go inside."

 __________________________

 

Please save him.

When they entered the house, he was greeted by multiple adults sitting in the living room. Before he could even give a proper and well-mannered greeting, Keith quickly became the center of attention of _more_ children, all who immediately swarmed him with questions and statements every millisecond. 

"Your hair's so _pretty_! Can you put it in a ponytail?"

"Dude, you look like Nico from Percy Jackson!"

"Can I see your cat?"

"You look like a cool samurai guy!"

"Have you ever killed anyone?"

" _Mama_!" Luiz screamed louder than the other children, having followed them and leaving Isa with the dog. "I'm gonna ride Keith's motorcycle."

The words were directed towards someone he recognized - _thank god_. One of Lance's older sisters, Elena looked incredibly confused at his words, before her eyes narrowed towards Lance; as if she was blaming him for what Luiz what saying. 

"Oh really? I hope that you didn’t get that idea from your  _dear_  uncle.”

Lance blanched in response, "Hold on a diddly-darn second -"

"Jesus Christ, Lance." This came from someone who...looks a lot like Lance but isn't. From the guy's facial features, he recognizes the familiar shape of the nose and the piercing blue eyes. But his hair his longer, curlier, and much paler than Lance is. He was most likely his older brother that he always heard of - Marco, though he wasn't sure. Keith had never personally met him before. 

" - Why am _I_ being blamed for this? _Keith's_ the one who said he could!"

Elena eyed him lazily, "Because I like Keith better than you."

"The _disrespect_ -"

A loud whistle rang from the couch, causing the not-Lance and Elena to flinch due to their close proximity, and the children as well as Lance to immediately hush. It came from Mrs. McClain-Sanchez, who fixed the children with an amused look. "Honestly children, Keith's not going anytime soon. You have time to ask him any sort of questions. Let him _breathe_."

The children all released noises of disappointment, but relented, moving away from him slightly. Lance's mother then got up to squeeze the life out of him, all soft curves and warmth. She sends a gentle smile at him, brown eyes twinkling and he returned it with a small, thankful one. "How are you doing, Keith? Is Shiro doing alright? Do you want some food dear? I finished lunch not too long ago." 

Mrs. McClain-Sanchez always asked him these questions whenever he came over, and the woman's words never failed to make him feel comforted. Before, he would usually feel an ache, feel his stomach lurch at how sweet and motherly she was. He never knew how to respond to it. There was always a sense of displacement, seeing her kiss her children on their foreheads and cheeks. She seemed to pick up on his hesitance sometime ago, because she never approached him with any physical affection until recently.

Now, he allowed himself to indulge in it. "I'm okay, Mrs. McClain. Shiro's okay too. I just had lunch so I'm not hungry."

She huffed, leaning back slightly to slap his arm. "How many times have I told you to call me Angela, Keith?"

He gave a sheepish smile in response as Elena and not-Lance snickered. "Honestly, Keith. You've been here....what? A million times? She's adopted you ever since you first showed up." Elena spoke, as she patted the head of Luiz. Lance had told him already that during one of their night time facetimes but it was _something_ to hear it from one of them directly.

He didn't know what expression he had on in response to that, but their snickers grew louder. Lance even joined in.

Angela cut in as she always did. "Deja de burlarte del pobre chico. If you're hungry, just ask. Okay, cariño?"

Keith could only bring himself to nod, and she smiled, understanding. Lance made his way next to him, taking the pet carrier from his hand, tugging him to the direction of the stairs. "We'll be upstairs if you need us." Various exclamations and words sounded off in response, and it was a bit before Lance spoke as they went up the stairwell. 

"I told you, man. Once you're adopted by my mother, you never leave."

 

 

**_Paladins of Voltron™_ **

**_Jul 21 th, 2018. 3:11pm._ **

 

 

 **kogane:** someone please save me

 **Shirogane:** What did you do?

 **lanceylance:** afssgsgh he didn't do anything except exist

 **alluring:**  ???

 **lancelicious:** so we were just gonna have a playdate for the cats right?

 **lancelicious:** and probably watch buzzfeed unsolved or worth it or something we were gonna decide

 **lancelicious:** my brother and sister decided to drop on by with their kids just before keith showed up

 **lancelicious:** my niblings are all splendidly intrigued with him right now

 **memebigboi:** the vocab i applaud 

 **lancelicious:** thank you thank you i try

 

_(5) photos from lancelicious_

 

 **lancelicious:** they all either want to ride his motorcycle or play with his hair 

 **alluring:**  awww who's the one braiding his hair?

 **lancelicious:** that's my niece Isabella

 **alluring:**  she's a cutie

 **Shirogane:** I'm sorry, does that boy have one of Keith's knives?

 **Shirogane:** Keith, wHY does he have one of your knives??

 **kogane:** calm down shiro i only let him hold it for a second

 **kogane:** what kind of person do you think i am

 **lancelicious:** u literally gave luiz permission to ride your motorcycle

 **kogane:** shut ur fuck

 **lancelicious:** he also almost cursed _multiple times_ in front of them

 **Shirogane:** Keith

 **alluring:**  ooop the dad voice

 **kogane:** but i didn't!!!

 **Shirogane:** You almost did!

 **alluring:**  Shiro are we just gonna pretend that you didn't curse in front of Keith when he was younger?

 **lancelicious:** AGFDSGSJGJ

 **kogane:** according to matt shiro's the reason i said fuck in elementary school

 **pidgey:** SDHGSFG MATT ALSO SAID THAT SHIRO'S THE REASON I SAID FUCK IN FRONT OF MOM AND DAD WHEN I WAS 8

 **Shirogane:** WHEN

 **pidgey:** he literally just told me it while we're here waiting on the doctor

 **lancelicious:** THis is the best day of my life

 **alluring:**  I love how THAT'S the reason you pop back in the chat 

 **pidgey:** i heard the lovely sound of space dad getting exposed

 **pidgey:** i was deprived of it earlier

 **Shirogane:** Pidge why

 **pidgey:** (shrugs) i'm bored

 **alluring:** alright children, now's not the time to fully expose Shiro

 **alluring:** we have forever to do that

 **Shirogane:** Gee, thanks Allura

 **alluring:** you're welcome 'kashi

 **lancelicious:** ASSDHSH more pictures of keith and the niblings to come

 **kogane:** gee thanks lance

 

How did he get here?

That's what Keith's been staring off into space and pondering for the past thirty minutes. Here - to be exact, was slumped against the foot of Lance's bed, surrounded by a few of his nieces and one of his nephews. He and Lance had been in the middle of watching Steven Universe, the cats snuggled together on top of a beanbag chair, when a knock sounded from his door. In flooded the swarm of children and _somehow_ they started to ask him about his motorcycle, if he could fight men bigger than him, how his hair was _so cool_ and _somehow_ Luiz had gotten his knife off of him (he hadn't even _felt_ him do it - _how the fuck_ -) and he had to quickly grab it from him and ensure that the boy didn't accidentally cut himself. The dog had accompanied them as well, simply slobbering his face in a greeting before dropping beside Lance.

Lance hadn't even been sympathetic to his hesitance of being around the children - the _bastard_ , only picking up one of the children by the legs as they screamed and nonchalantly saying with a devious grin, "They can smell fear."

Asshole.

Luiz took great comfort in watching Steven Universe while squished next to Keith's left side, his head on his arm. Isabelle, was currently undoing whatever hairstyle she had done in his hair for the umpteenth time, sitting behind him on Lance's bed. She treated his hair as something delicate, like a doll, parting his hair in sections and rows and bunching in with multi-coloured hair scrunchies. She even made him hold them until she asked for him to raise his hand so she could grab one. Keith couldn't tell you how she had roped him into allowing her.

" - Aden's mommy says that he's just doing that because he likes me, but he doesn't need to push me down and hit me all the time!" Danielle - he thinks her name is, all of them pretty much shouted their names at him; sat in his lap. Again, he couldn't tell you how exactly she dropped herself in his lap and started to babble on and on about the boy that she doesn't like, but it was happening. Her words actually clicked in his head and he frowned, looking down at her.

"Wait, wait - he pushes you?"

She gave him a look that showed that she had definitely explained that before, but didn't berate him for not listening. "Yeah, he pushes me to the floor whenever I tell him that he's being dumb - cause he's _so dumb._ And he hit me in my arm because I didn't want to share my sandwich. And I always tell Ms. Daniels whenever he does that, but she says the same thing Aden's mommy says!"

Keith frowned even more. Something was bubbling in his chest, and he really couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was. "Did you tell your mom?" Isabelle poked his cheek with a finger and he held up his hand with the scrunchies. She promptly took one and went back to his hair.

"Yeah, and she says that Ms. Daniels is wrong and that he shouldn't be doing that. She said that she'd speak to Aden's mommy."

Keith didn't know what the hell he was doing, but he found himself doing it anyway. "Listen," he didn't say what he thought her name was on the off-chance he could be wrong. He eyed her directly, eyes serious. "Your mom's right, Aden's being dumb."  Probably-Danielle nodded her head rapidly, eyes filled with satisfaction. He continued, "If he keeps pushing you down and keep telling the teacher and she does nothing, punch him."

Her eyes grew wide at that and a grin made way onto her lips. "I did that once! But Ms. Daniels kept telling me that that's not how to take crushes."

"Ms. Daniels is dumb." Keith held up his index finger. "If you wanna completely take him down, you gotta learn how to block his punches and hit him in the nose."

She was taking this very seriously, her eyebrows furrowed and her teeth biting on her bottom lip. "Can you show me how?"

Keith paused, he supposed that he could teach her something that wasn't lethal enough. "Yeah, sure."

Probably-Danielle's eyes widened in excitement. " _Yes_! Aden won't know what's coming!" 

And then, he immediately realized what exactly he was feeling, the feeling that flared up at what those women kept saying to her. Normally, Keith was uncomfortable with kids, having no idea how to interact with them. But now? Now, he was feeling a sense of protectiveness towards her. He suddenly had the urge to teach her everything she needed to know, like fighting. God, he wasn't even sure what her name was yet - how ridiculous of him.

She then grinned up at him. "You really are as cool as Unca' Lance said. He said that one time, you took down a group of guys who tried to rob you guys."

He smiled - that was true, he did take all of those fuckers down, incapacitating them long enough to grab Lance's hand and run to the police station. But he blinked at the first part of her words, raising an eyebrow.

"He said that I was cool?"

Probably-Danielle nodded, "Uh-huh! He talks about you _a lot_. Right, Isa?"

Isabelle poked his cheek again, and he held up his hand again. She grasped a red scrunchy as she hummed. He didn't really know how to deal with Isabella just yet. She was silent (save for that _loud_ call for Lance when he came but he supposed it was because of Safety reasons) and always observing, but he could tell that it wasn't due to shyness. "He says that you're a total emo."

Keith frowned, eyeing said uncle - who currently sat in his bean bag with his other nephews and nieces cuddled with him, Steven Universe captivating their attention - with a frown. "Did he now?"

"Yep!" Probably-Danielle didn't seem to notice his demeanor. "He said that you're the product of a cool samurai guy and - uh, some singers. My Chemistry Rom-com, or something."

He narrowed his eyes further, thinking of just how he was going to attack Lance when there was another poke on his cheek, and he handed her a blue scrunchy from the pile. Luiz decided to cut in at that moment, eyes bright. "You should come with us to Cuba next week. Mama said that it would only be family but...maybe we you could come with us! Maybe Hunk can come with us too!"

Probably-Danielle cheered in agreement, "Yeah. If you come with us, you can come with us to Play - Play - uh.."

She looked to Isabella who, without looking, added, "Playa Paraíso."

" _That_!" She continued, "Or even Varadero Beach. Unca'  Lance normally takes us there so we could build huge sandcastles!"

A smile overcame Keith's face at the display of her stretching her arms to show how big the sandcastles. "Well, your mom's right. It is just for family so it's best I or Hunk don't come." A poke on his cheek. A raise of his hand. "You really love your Uncle Lance, huh?"

Luiz nodded enthusiastically, "He's the best! He always make us do that pose from that movie mama cries a lot at - I get to shout how much of a king I am as loud as I can!"

It wasn't that hard to visualize Lance's energy at the beach - he loved the water, and also adding all these children along with him? Good god. A high-pitched squeal reached his ears, and he flinched, his eyes finding the source of the noise. Pearl teaching Connie with song was forgotten, Lance was in the middle of carrying a boy on his back. The giggles the child was currently emitting rose in pitch - if that was even possible, when Lance spun around quickly. The other children were starting to climb him, one of them hanging off one of his arms like some sort of monkey bar.

As uncomfortable as it may have been to have children crawling all over you, Lance's face was content, a serene expression on his features. It reminded him of the late night facetimes they occasionally had, and at that moment, it suddenly hit him how intimate they were. Keith had seen some sides of Lance that not a lot of people did,only people who he allowed to. And now, Lance with his family members was as intimate as those calls. Not in displaying the emotional vulnerability, but showing Lance in his element that he was free to relax and be himself. Seeing himself with his nephews and nieces, it actually made Keith's chest flutter, an unconscious smile forming on his lips. 

But then, after a few moments; a thought formed in his head, one that made the smile quickly drop. He swallowed down a lump of air, trying very hard to disprove the thoughts that started to swarm. Because he didn't. He _couldn't_. There was absolutely no way - 

Lance pushed his buttons, he was annoying, ridiculous, and always looking to pick a fight with Keith over the simplest things. It was a miracle they considered each other friends, because Lance fucking aggravated him.

But, despite all that - Lance was a truly nice guy. He actually got along with him when they weren't bickering; whether it be over watching shows like Steven Universe or X-files, laughing over Pidge or Shiro or generally being in the company of all their friends. Lance genuinely cared for his friends, genuinely cared for _him_ ,  and Keith can recall the multiple times Lance has looked out for him for him in the past....

Lance's laugh rang out, and his stomach fluttered yet again. Keith froze, Probably-Danielle slowly waving a hand over his unseeing eyes, and Luiz calling his name. But he took no note of them, his ears ringing. 

_Oh fuck._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really happy with how I ended it or the story bits in general but it's late and I really want to go to sleep so I can only apologize.  
> Thanks so much for reading, and I'll see you in the next one.


	7. 2k18 mood: assholes getting their asses handed to them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith can't sleep, there's a visit in the group chat from someone and planning commences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't expecting that many kudos and such sweet comments?? Like I took a nap and woke up to start writing again and looked at all the comments and they were all so nice??? I gotta answer them all soon, thank you guys so much.
> 
> Anyway, here's a quick and small little chapter. As a reference, Lance's incident in the Target is loosely based on [this post](http://blu-iv.tumblr.com/post/163720001615/the-real-eye-to-see-now-i-know-what-an) by @blu-iv on Tumblr.

  **kogane, Shirogane**

**Jul _22 nd,_ 2018\. 3:39 am.**

 

 

 **kogane:** shiro are you asleep?

 **Shirogane:** Well I was.

 **kogane:** you know what this can wait

 **kogane:** never mind go back to sleep

 **Shirogane:** Nope nope nope you're gonna tell me what's bothering you because I'm pretty sure you didn't wake me up for _nothing_

 **Shirogane:** What's wrong? Ever since you came home you've been off

 **Shirogane:** Keith?

 **Shirogane:** Keith, I will literally come to your room and drag you out of bed.

 **kogane:** if you breathe oNE WORD of this to ANYONE i will dump your doritos stash down the toilet

 **Shirogane:** If you so much as _look_ at my doritos stash I'll dye your hair white

 **kogane:** fucking try it bitch i'll shank you in your sleep

 **Shirogane:** Sleep? You mean that beautiful thing I'm losing right now because of you?

 **Shirogane:**.....Wait I see what you're doing

 **Shirogane:** Out with it Keith what is it?

 **kogane:**....you were right

 **Shirogane:**......What?

 **kogane:** i think

 **kogane:** fuck ithinkihaveacrushonlance

 **Shirogane:** Okay, so what's the problem?

 **kogane:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM 

 **kogane:** how could i possibly like him??? i hate him???

 **Shirogane:** No, you don't

 **kogane:** OKAy i don't but lance hates me???

 **Shirogane:** Right yes Lance totallly hates you

 **kogane:**....i don't like your tone

 **Shirogane:** no you're definitely right Lance absolutely hates your guts yep

 **kogane:**.....i forgot 3am shiro is more of a sarcastic bitch than usual

 **Shirogane:** (sigh) Okay no Keith Lance doesn't hate you

 **Shirogane:** You guys are literally friends

 **kogane:** okay he doesn't but that doesn't mean he likes me like that???

 **kogane:** ugh whyyyy did have to happen being rivals was sO MUCH EASIER than this

 **kogane:** i should've stabbed him when i had the chance

 **Shirogane:** You can't stab away your problems, Keith

 **kogane:** THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO ABOUT THIS

 **kogane:** I'VE LITERALLY BEEN UP THINKING ABOUT THIS SINCE I GOT HOME

 **Shirogane:** When exactly did you realize it?

 **kogane:** i don't know he was just playing with his nephews and nieces or cousins i really don't know

 **kogane:** and he just looked so....at ease

 **kogane:** and i started thinking about our facetimes together and how content he looks and i don't know 

 **kogane:** i like it when he smiles i like how happy he gets and how much his eyes shine whenever he talks about stupid shit

 **kogane:** and he's so??? considerate?? he does his best and he thinks so low of himself but i can't believe why??

 **kogane:** he's a dumbass but

 **kogane:** but

 **Shirogane:** Wow

 **Shirogane:** You really like him

 **kogane:** WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THIS

 **Shirogane:** Well first off, you can try and sleep

 **kogane:** that's kinda hard to do considering every fucking time i try to do that i see Lance's fucking face

 **Shirogane:** You're really deep into it, huh?

 **kogane:** shiro i swear to fucking god

 **Shirogane:** Okay okay

 **Shirogane:** Now, you know I'm horrible at relationship advice

 **kogane:** no shit

 **Shirogane:** Shut the fuck up and let me talk Akira.

 **kogane:** rude

 **Shirogane:**......Anyway

 **Shirogane:** Having a crush is gonna be alarming sometimes

 **Shirogane:** But you're not gonna feel any less confused than you do now anytime soon

 **Shirogane:** You're definitely not gonna get rid of your feelings at four in the morning

 **Shirogane:** You need to take some time and see where this crush takes you

 **Shirogane:** As for whether or not Lance likes you back....

 **Shirogane:** Maybe he does, you never really know

 **Shirogane:** Right now, just take it in stride and see if there's any chance he does.

 **kogane:**....yeah you're right

 **kogane:** thanks shiro

 **Shirogane:** No problem we can talk about this more tomorrow

 **Shirogane:** Now gO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

 **kogane:** GEE THANKS SHIRO

 

 

  ** _Paladins of Voltron™_**

 **Jul _22 nd,_ 2018. 2:39 pm.** 

 

 **lancelicious** : hi sisters

 **kogane:** oh no

 **lancelicious:** don't be a distressi spagetti keithy

 **lancelicious:** i'm not the droid you're thinking of

 **kogane:**....veronica?

 **hunkaburninglove:** veronica!

 **pidgey:** VERONICA!!!

 **alluring:** Veronica?

 **memebigboi:** ^

 **Shirogane:** Lance's sister

 **pidgey:** lance's kickass sister who can snap a thousand men in half with a single look

 

 _(_   _1_ _) photo from lancelicious_

 

 **lancelicious:** you're too kind

 **lancelicious** : my bro's left behind his phone for a bit so i stole it to bestow great tidings upon thee

 **memebigboi:** i love you already what is it

 

_(1) video sent from lancelicious_

 

 **lancelicious:** context: lance and i were talking about something where he kept changes his responses and i said "you can't keep your story straight." lance was like: "i can't keep anything straight, have you seen my sexuality?" to which some hillbilly with a huge stick up her ass overheard and started yelling some homophobic shit in the target we were in

 **lancelicious:** which then prompted this

 **alluring:** OH MYGOD

 **hunkaburninglove:** LANCE AMGDSFDHGFDGF

 **memebigboi:** okay i thought it was going to be some dirt on him that only you knew but this is soooo much better

 **memebigboi:** THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU MY BOY

 **memebigboi:** "there's no place for gays in this country" "i'm bisexual actually"

 **lancelicious:** nah another time

 **kogane:** this is amazing

 **alluring:** okay but her listing off people who shouldn't be allowed in America and Lance being like "well, you're not gonna like this"

 **hunkaburninglove:** HER FACE WHEN HE SAYS THAT HE'S CUBAN

 **pidgey:** AGDSFSHGDSHFDH CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HE QUICKLY SWITCHED TO SPANISH TO MAKE THE WOMAN EVEN MORE MAD

 **hunkaburninglove:** SHE'S SO MAD THAT HE'S BOTH LGBT AND AN IMMIGRANT

 **Shirogane:** On the one hand, I'm so proud of him for keeping a cool head in the face of hatred and being out with his sexuality but I'm also pissed off because of this woman 

 **Shirogane:** Please tell me she got kicked out.

 

_(1) video sent from lancelicious_

 

 **lancelicious:** i got you my dude

 **kogane:** there are a few things that truly bring me joy, but one of those things is definitely assholes getting what they deserve

 **pidgey:** OHMY GOD I LOVE TGHIS SONGGGG

 **hunkaburninglove:** "I'll leAVE if you lET ME GO!" the high-pitched screech jesus christ

 **hunkaburninglove:** also can we talk about the clearly hispanic guard who quickly slammed her to the ground to handcuff her

 **pidgey:** POETIC JUSTICE

 **Shirogane:** Her squirming, good god.

 **kogane:** that's what she fucking gets for throwing things at him 

 **alluring:** catch me setting this as my ringtone

 **alluring:** what a bop

 **pidgey:** i actually wanna remix this oh my god

 **hunkaburninglove:** everyone's literally just watching this woman screaming like "shut the fuck up"

 **hunkaburninglove:** tag yourself, i'm the one white lady who's so over it

 **memebigboi:** PFTFTTTT LANCE JUST FUCKING

 **memebigboi:** KICKS THE HANDCUFFS TO THE GUARD WHEN HE LOSES HIS GRIP ON THEM

 **alluring:** Veronica i assume that's your voice saying "can someone help him contain her"

 **lancelicious:** yep!

 **alluring:** amazing

 **lancelicious:** i was JUST about to give lance the phone and fucking DECK her ass but the guard stepped in so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **alluring:** i'm assuming that you were videotaping so you could find exactly who she was if she wasn't kicked out?

 **lancelicious:** oh yeah

 **lancelicious:** we'd let her employer know just what a homophobic, racist piece of shit she was and if they really wanted someone like that working for them

 **Shirogane:** good

 **memebigboi:** nICE

 **pidgey:** MAKE RACISTS AFRAID AGAIN

 **kogane:** lance is okay after that right?

 **lancelicious:** yeah yeah. he was initially shocked at himself because he still is unsure of what label to use for himself so just saying "i'm bisexual" in PUBLIC was kinda scary for him

 **lancelicious:** but he was glad to stick it to that bitch

 **kogane:** good good

 **Shirogane:** We're incredibly proud of him

 **alluring:** yes!!! i'm so proud of my son

 **memebigboi:** I LOVE YOU BITCH

 **memebigboi:** I AIN'T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU....BIIIIIIIITCH

 **hunkaburninglove:** lance you're a good nug!!!

 **pidgey:** LOVE YOU YA UTTER DISASTER

 **kogane:** proud of you lance

 **lancelicious:** awwww this is precious

 **lancelicious:** he's gonna love this when he comes baEFBSHTG BR

 **kogane:** veronica?

 **lancelicious:** sorry guys i was helping mi madre in the kitchen

 **lancelicious:** wait

 **lancelicious:** you guys....

 **hunkaburninglove:** love ya buddy

 **lancelicious:** pidge actually not being a gremlin?? keith caring about me?? in my group chat???

 **lancelicious:** it's more likely than you think

 **pidgey:** see i'm not even gonna disprove it because i can bet $100 that you're actually crying rn

 **lancelicious:** SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH 

 

 

 **alluring**  has created **_the 72hr preparation for Lance day_**

**Jul _22 nd,_ 2018. 6:39 pm.**

**alluring**  has added  **hunkaburninglove** ,  **memebigboi,** **pidgey** ,  **kogane** and **Shirogane** to the chat

 

 **hunkaburninglove:** oh thank god i was now about to ask if we really weren't doing anything

 **memebigboi:** PARTY PARTY

 **alluring:** now

 **alluring:** this isn't going to be a big party because Lance is gonna have one with his family with Cuba 

 **alluring:** i confirmed with Mrs. McClain-Sanchez

 **alluring:** i also confirmed with everyone's relatives and Shiro that none of you have anything to do for this entire week

 **memebigboi:** amazingly through

 **alluring:** thank you darling

 **alluring:** it's just gonna be us and lance

 **kogane:** wait wait "us and lance"

 **kogane:** does that mean....

 **alluring:** :)

 **memebigboi:** YESSSSSSS

 **pidgey:** YOU'RE COMING????

 **alluring:** yep Coran and i are coming the day before i want to have the party

 **pidgey:** CORAN CORAN THE GORGEOUS MAN

 **hunkaburninglove:** nICE

 **Shirogane:** Whose house is this happening at? And when do you want this to happen?

 **alluring:** it's happening at my house over there

 **memebigboi:** man i missed the altea house

 **hunkaburninglove:** so many good memories made there

 **alluring:** you guys remember how to get there right?

 **kogane:** yep

 **pidgey:** yep yep

 **alluring:** and it's happening on 25th around....4? 5?

 **pidgey:** yeah that sounds good

 **kogane:** ^

 **Shirogane:** Okay let's start delegating 

 **memebigboi:** who's buying the cake

 **hunkaburninglove:** excuse me?? right in front of my salad??

 **hunkaburninglove:** i'm gonna bake him a cake so fucking good it'll make him cry

 **kogane:** okay calm down big guy

 **hunkaburninglove:** i got the cake covered i'll go get baking supplies tomorrow

 **alluring:** okay good what about party supplies

 **memebigboi:** i got space in my car for anyone who wants to go get them

 **pidgey:** party supplies team

 **kogane:** i'll go with pidge

 **Shirogane:** i'll also come along to help

 **Shirogane:** We do need to come to the house to decorate tho

 **alluring:** Coran and i can help with that when we get there

 **alluring:** should we design a plan for what supplies we want to have?

 **pidgey:** google docs has been open ever since you created this group chat what do you take me for

 **pidgey:** start talking people

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season 7 teasers and that whole Popsicle thing is giving me anxiety a few hours before the premier like?? let me at least breathe goddammit.


End file.
